Making things up?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Is it common for these people to make things up or to imagine things and then be convinced that it's reality? I'm not talking about normal lying I mean they believe what they say even if it's not true... I've noticed occasionally my wife recalling events in ways that they didn't really happen and sometimes she will bring up things that I thought I just didn't remember... last night though she hit me with one that left me dazed and confused. She texted me aggravated with my mom when I asked what happened she said "her got damned mouth". Then later she said they talked and cleared the air. I didn't ask about it because she said it was cleared up. This of course meant I didn't care about her and what was going on and she went on a tirade after I came home from working my 2nd job.  Long story short her and my mom were talking and she mentioned needing to save money and mom said "you need to get a job". She told my mom that I didn't want her working.

[montenell]

Is it common for these people to make things up or to imagine things and then be convinced that it's reality? I'm not talking about normal lying I mean they believe what they say even if it's not true... I've noticed occasionally my wife recalling events in ways that they didn't really happen and sometimes she will bring up things that I thought I just didn't remember... last night though she hit me with one that left me dazed and confused. She texted me aggravated with my mom when I asked what happened she said "her got damned mouth". Then later she said they talked and cleared the air. I didn't ask about it because she said it was cleared up. This of course meant I didn't care about her and what was going on and she went on a tirade after I came home from working my 2nd job.  Long story short her and my mom were talking and she mentioned needing to save money and mom said "you need to get a job". She told my mom that I didn't want her working.

[ortac77]

Hi

In short the answer is yes in my experience, for BPD Feelings =Facts therefore things are often recalled in a totally different way to what was actually experienced. I am often told of things that I did or said which are simply untrue it seems to be at the heart of the pwBPD's 'reality'.

It can become very confusing and disturbing but with time I have come to see it as an integral part of the illness therefore as long as I know my truth I do not let it disturb me

In Peace

[juju2]

Hi,

Yes they remember differently, I got to the point that if I promised something, would writ it down.

Keeping a journal was key, because otherwise, I thought I was losing my mind.

Bottom line, be of integrity.  Be my word.

I am not a victim of someone who has a serious mental illness.

To be in a relationship with someone who has a BPD, it takes me:  doing excellent self care, managing my emotions, having excellent support, not sharing our issues with family and friends, (because then, I am fighting a two front war, they want me to stop hurting), having a student's mind, I am learning, constantly learning.

All in all, my experience w my pwBPD has been positive.  His disorder affects me, it's a disorder of intimacy.  It requires me to be at the top of my game, it requires me to look inside myself.

Happiness is an inside game.

You are in the right place for hope, healing, and help.  juju