I always new there was something wrong with my mother

[Wyandotte]

Hi, my mother has BPD .i always new there was something wrong with her but I finally went to therapy and all the signs are there.adding to she has a significant gambling problem and had lost her life savings.ive been in the therapy foe about three months and it’s really helping.I also haven’t spoke to her since I started therapy there has been so much that has happen my whole life with her .Shes always angry at someone someone has always done her wrong the lies she has told about her whole family to try to cover up the gambling, always mad runing every event or holiday My mother is 82 now My father died 10 years ago I started reading books regarding the BPD it was like I wrote the book about my life this is very hard for me to write about this thank you

[Harri]

Hi and welcome to the board! I am glad you took the plunge and posted.  The first post is the hardest so good for you!

You will find that there are a lot of people here who can relate to your story especially the part about your mother never being at fault and having a therapist suggest BPD as a possible diagnosis.  I am sorry to hear about your mom's gambling addiction.  Is she getting help for that or is she still gambling?

I don't know how much more reading you want to do but a good place to start is to look at the articles and STEPS listed on the right side of the page.  There is also a Lessons section stickied at the top of this board that has even more great articles.

I hope you start to feel more comfortable here and post more of your story. 

[Woolspinner2000]

I'd like to join Harri in welcoming you!   I'm so glad you found us and have joined our family. 

Good for you that you are in T! There are so many discoveries to make, aren't there? My mom was also an uBPD. You will find so much information here and lots of listening ears.

I started reading books regarding the BPD it was like I wrote the book about my life.

How well I understand your comment! One of the first books I read had me feeling as if the author had climbed into my head and was seeing the world through my eyes. 

Please keep sharing with us!

 
Wools

[MissAlwaysWrong]

Having a mother with BPD is incredibly difficult. When we were children it is like we were on a never ending rollercoaster (sometimes we don't even realize it). Our parents are the ones who show us what "normal" is. My mother would constantly give the silent treatment, lectures in front of the entire family, and triangulate between me and my sister. I just thought that was normal, but it isn't. Now my relationship has become much more abusive (so hard to actually say that). And I mean emotionally, no physical abuse here. My mother has rallied my entire family against me. My dad and I used to be so close and now it feels like he is my worst enemy. It is so sad to think about the way life used to be before I "rocked the boat" and moved out (what a huge abandonment for my mother to face). We just have to use the supports we have and set boundaries. Good luck with everything and keep posting!

[Mooberry]

Having a mother with BPD is incredibly difficult. When we were children it is like we were on a never ending rollercoaster (sometimes we don't even realize it). Our parents are the ones who show us what "normal" is. My mother would constantly give the silent treatment, lectures in front of the entire family, and triangulate between me and my sister. I just thought that was normal, but it isn't. Now my relationship has become much more abusive (so hard to actually say that). And I mean emotionally, no physical abuse here. My mother has rallied my entire family against me. My dad and I used to be so close and now it feels like he is my worst enemy. It is so sad to think about the way life used to be before I "rocked the boat" and moved out (what a huge abandonment for my mother to face). We just have to use the supports we have and set boundaries. Good luck with everything and keep posting!

Wow, you are writing my current issue.  My family has me living to help financially support my mother (me, my husband, and my 2 little ones 4 and 3).  I am afraid of the family, and my mother when I decide to leave because it means she has to sell her house (which my father who died 5 years ago bought when they "made it".  I just am getting to the point that I am tired of the abuse, and I am tired of my children see her abuse me.  The energy it takes to get through a day is so big.  It's nice to see that someone has made it out despite the enmeshment.  I've always been the scapegoat, but I am tired of it!

[crazycatlady]

The first post is always the toughest. But you did it, and that's awesome!