I'm sure their heads will spin on Mother's Day

[Depression = 72% of members]

Again, I finally told my BP dad and STepmom how I really feel about them after we got together in FEB after 5 years of no contact. I thought it would be a nice time, but instead, they belittled people, especially my sister. And pointed out all of her parenting flaws. I pointed out that she's doing something right, after all, her kid is a straight A student. They said they only think he makes good grades to appease his controlling dad. I mean, huh?  No credit to my sister.

SM used to really play my sister and I against eachother. She'd tell me that my sister talks about me and says things about me  that she can't even bring herself to repeat. Which would make me mad at my sister, but I couldn't tell her why I was mad as I didn't want to betray my SM. And my SM would do the same thing with my sister, she's talk to her about me and tell her I'm full of issues. My SM is also the queen of badmouthing us to other family members and telling them how sister and I just don't get along, etc.

But on Mother's Day, I put a big ad in our local paper for my sister, praising her on the job she's doing as a mom. And how much I love her as my sister. Everyone in my town reads the ads on Mother's Day. My dad and SM and their flying monkeys will absolutely see it. And I wish I could see their faces.

In unity we stand.

[Jennylove]

Again, I finally told my BP dad and STepmom how I really feel about them after we got together in FEB after 5 years of no contact. I thought it would be a nice time, but instead, they belittled people, especially my sister. And pointed out all of her parenting flaws. I pointed out that she's doing something right, after all, her kid is a straight A student. They said they only think he makes good grades to appease his controlling dad. I mean, huh?  No credit to my sister.

SM used to really play my sister and I against eachother. She'd tell me that my sister talks about me and says things about me  that she can't even bring herself to repeat. Which would make me mad at my sister, but I couldn't tell her why I was mad as I didn't want to betray my SM. And my SM would do the same thing with my sister, she's talk to her about me and tell her I'm full of issues. My SM is also the queen of badmouthing us to other family members and telling them how sister and I just don't get along, etc.

But on Mother's Day, I put a big ad in our local paper for my sister, praising her on the job she's doing as a mom. And how much I love her as my sister. Everyone in my town reads the ads on Mother's Day. My dad and SM and their flying monkeys will absolutely see it. And I wish I could see their faces.

In unity we stand.

[Harri]

   It is great that you were able to see that your SM was trying to play you and your sister against each other.  And I love the ad!  Instead of saying something negative you have turned it into a positive and manage to praise your sister for being a good mom all at the same time.  (Yes, I too would be wishing I could see my parents reaction to it though!  More for a sense of satisfaction and a "you can try but you won't succeed in keeping us apart" sort of thing). 

My mother did a lot of damage between my brother and I.  We have worked hard to be more of a team and supportive of each other so I get how difficult this must be for you.  My brother and I, unfortunately, still have some old lies hanging over the both of us but we are at a point where we can sort of talk about it.  I say sort of becuase the convo goes something like : "You do ___ all the time."  "No I don't.  Stop believing the lies mom told about me."  "Oh."  End of discussion.     Not ideal and not a close brother sister sort of discussion but we are there for each other and love each other.  We will never be friends though.  Too much trauma between the two of us. 

anyway, I think what you chose to do is great.

[Panda39]

Love the Ad    What a nice thing to do for your sister   and a nice "in your face" to your Stepmom 

Sisters Unite!

I have a story of united sisters too.  My SO's D21 went no contact with her mom several years ago so unfortunately D17 got pumped for information about her sister by her uBPDmom.  During all of this she promised D17 a Tablet (reward for being the good child that still talked to her) then brought it over and gave it to D21 who broke NC to say hello when her mom came by.  

At first D21 didn't know it had been promised to D17.  They sat down with their dad and talked about it and decided to send the toxic gift wrapped in strings back to their mother! 

Yay girls!

Panda39

[Jennylove]

 It is great that you were able to see that your SM was trying to play you and your sister against each other.  And I love the ad!  Instead of saying something negative you have turned it into a positive and manage to praise your sister for being a good mom all at the same time.  (Yes, I too would be wishing I could see my parents reaction to it though!  More for a sense of satisfaction and a "you can try but you won't succeed in keeping us apart" sort of thing).  

My mother did a lot of damage between my brother and I.  We have worked hard to be more of a team and supportive of each other so I get how difficult this must be for you.  My brother and I, unfortunately, still have some old lies hanging over the both of us but we are at a point where we can sort of talk about it.  I say sort of becuase the convo goes something like : "You do ___ all the time."  "No I don't.  Stop believing the lies mom told about me."  "Oh."  End of discussion.    Not ideal and not a close brother sister sort of discussion but we are there for each other and love each other.  We will never be friends though.  Too much trauma between the two of us.  

anyway, I think what you chose to do is great.

I just can't imagine a biological parent trying to play her own kids against eachother. My mom would beg and plead with us to get along.  I guess it's important to remember that those with BPD or Narcissism are really sick upstairs and they don't know how incredibly sick they really are. I hope you and your brother can push through this. My sister and I are not fully there, we realized what was happening 2 years ago, but the damage was pretty bad by then and we continued on with  limited contact. But after my visit with them in Feb, it hit me like a ton of bricks about how sick they truly are and how they seem to despise my sister. It brought back memories of them calling her a fat pig , ugly or stupid when she was a kid and through her 20s. And I just became overwhelmed with sadness for her because those words have affected her as an adult. She won't apply for promotions because she doesn't think she's smart enough. And she's always saying "I'm sorry" for everything. I grabbed the bull by the horns and decided that it's time to really try at a relationship with her. I'm 40, she's 44, we are getting old and 20 years have passed since we were "close". It's a work in progress but I think we'll get there. I wish you and your bro all the best.  At least you are both aware of what your mom has been doing.

[Jennylove]

Love the Ad    What a nice thing to do for your sister   and a nice "in your face" to your Stepmom 

Sisters Unite!

I have a story of united sisters too.  My SO's D21 went no contact with her mom several years ago so unfortunately D17 got pumped for information about her sister by her uBPDmom.  During all of this she promised D17 a Tablet (reward for being the good child that still talked to her) then brought it over and gave it to D21 who broke NC to say hello when her mom came by.  

At first D21 didn't know it had been promised to D17.  They sat down with their dad and talked about it and decided to send the toxic gift wrapped in strings back to their mother! 

Yay girls!

Panda39

Wow just wow! Yay girls is right! In yo face! Haha! I wonder what their mother thought.

[Turkish]

That's a great story and a clear signal to the community that you are behind your sis 

How do you feel that you two are connecting to heal the hurt caused by your parents? It sounds positive.