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Author Topic: BPDxgf sleeping around continued  (Read 504 times)
oz geary

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 33


« on: June 04, 2018, 07:17:00 PM »

Back again, ok so I've been in a friendship with my BPDxgf and I've made it clear and she's definitely made it clear, we are not going to get into a relationship. But we have been sleeping together. But that has turned into intermittent reward. Several times now she has implied, even promised sex but now she doesn't follow through. This has been going on about 3 weeks now. I've recognised it for what it is, basically emotional manipulation and therefore abuse. Or am I going too far?
On top of that, shes now done her typical thing of latching onto a random guy she met 2nights ago,, that's fine,, I've been getting sex elsewhere so that's not the issue,,, the issue is that she made it a point to come to my flat the morning after she slept with this guy,, neck covered in love bites, and then proceeded to tell me details about it! I didn't ask! I think it's because she was trying to make me jealous, trying to hurt me. And it did hurt! Cz as much as will never/could never have another relationship with her I still love her. And she knows it doesn't she? :/ 
If u read my other posts you'll see the whole history of us. She's done the "getting to me immediately after sex" before,,, but with another woman. I won't b played like a trained seal and strung along by the promise of "sex tomorrow"! But WHY is she doing this? Any ideas?

Ps, u guys r great, thanks for the support x
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Mutt
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced Oct 2015
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« Reply #1 on: June 04, 2018, 08:42:49 PM »

Excerpt
the issue is that she made it a point to come to my flat the morning after she slept with this guy,, neck covered in love bites, and then proceeded to tell me details about it! I didn't ask!

Does she know how you feel? It sounds like she’s talking to you like a friend or a fwb. I think that I would have a hard time if I were in your shoes. If she is a fwb and she says that she’ll meet for sex and is a no show maybe I would reconsider the freiendship. I’m not saying to cut her off but maybe tie that off of the table if she is mistreating you then I’d suggest no contact.
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oz geary

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 33


« Reply #2 on: June 04, 2018, 09:34:59 PM »

Yh she knows, we broke each others hearts, we've spoken about it. And I just wanted fwb, and that's what it was to begin with, then it went to actual friends, then, like I said, she started withholding sex. Thing is she's never told me details before. It felt like she was trying to run my face in it. She's such a good lier and manipulator. She has everyone believing that her support worker from her alcoholic group told her she is one of the 5% of BPD sufferers that get cured. She say BPDs can't lie and never manipulate,,, she has photographic memory but conveniently forgets things,,, I know my BPDxgf too well,,, it's more like she's stopped going or she's missed too many appointments and they've stopped her coming. I digress, that's just an example. Yh I'm gonna cut her out my life. It's taken 11months to get where I am, I'd never have been able to even look at her 5 months ago, I've lost 3jobs and 2homes through being involved with her. If she wants sex she can come to mine n get it, if not ,,, I don't care Smiling (click to insert in post) 
But I'd love to know her motivation for lauding her sex life over me.
She wasn't over pleased when I revealed I was having sex elsewhere, but she soon turned it round and made it a joke and was going to tell everyone she knows! Why, why, why?
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Mutt
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« Reply #3 on: June 04, 2018, 10:02:57 PM »

Hi oz geary,

Wise choice with no contact especially lost 3 jobs and 2 homes. You want people that are close to you build you up not tear you down. When I think about BPD I think about r/s’s and a criteria is chaotic and stormy r/s’s because a pwBPD are not looking at it from your point of view I’m not defending her it telegraphs that she didn’t have a lot of empathy when she said and she was self centered. I doubt that she said it specifically to hurt you i think it’s because of she scores very low on the empathy scale.
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