Family communication, children are emotionally distant, son won't talk to me

[Jeanlouise]

My teenage children are emotionally distant.  My husband has NPD traits. My husband and I are separated and in counseling.  It is hard for anyone else to understand what is going on.  My son will not talk to me anymore. He does not talk to anyone in the family anymore except for the bare minimum. I feel very sad because I have been in counseling off and on for many years trying to learn how to have healthy family relationships. My mother has strong NPD traits and I had to set very clear boundaries with her. This situation feels very isolating.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Merlot]

Hi Jean louise

Welcome to the bpdfamily 

You are not alone, the isolation and pain that comes in dealing with challenging behavioural traits that impact our relationships is very consuming.  

It sounds like there is so much going on for you right now, not just with your husband and mother but also your son; it's a lot for anyone, and I really hope you are taking care of yourself.

If you feel comfortable sharing more, we would love to hear from you and you are in the right place.  Parents here are experiencing very similar issues and we all reach out to help and support each other by providing an ear and much needed guidance.

I came here six months ago admidst a crisis with my BPD daughter age 27.  I have learnt so much from talking to parents, working my way through the information to the right  and I've started reading many books.

I'd be interested to know, how long you have been separated and if your son is living with you.  Also, given the history with your mother, have you been able to talk through things with a therapist.

It can be very confronting opening up but we are here to listen to you without judgement. Hope to hear from you soon.
Merlot

[Feeling Better]

Hello Jeanlouise

I would like to join Merlot in welcoming you here and say how sorry I am to hear of what you are going through.

I echo your sentiments about the situation feeling very isolating, it is very hard when no one seems to understand what we are going through. Thankfully we have this site that has lots of understanding and supportive parents who can relate to what you are going through.

My uBPD son is currently NC with me, and thrown into the mix I have my mother who is in contact with him, who relishes that fact, and most likely reinforces all the lies that he believes to be true about us. I feel that I have needed to detach from her somewhat as she recently told me something to deliberately hurt me. Her intention had been to split the rest of my family up.

I understand how difficult at times it can be to have healthy family relationships and it sounds like you have tried your best.

May I ask how old your teenage children are?

Hope to hear more from you x