Getting a divorce from a narcissist and looking for advice

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

We were involved in an accident- my husband has brain seizures and his personality has completely changed to that if a narcissist from what I can tell. He’s been involved in chat rooms, porn and dating sites since shortly after the accident. He continued to lie to me even though I saw the sites in history, chats with girls in circles, and preferred porn to actual sex. I let him make it for awhile, deeming he didn’t know right from wrong - I guess I wanted to hear, “I was stupid, felt lonely and made some mistakes - I’m sorry and I’ll fix it.”  Instead, he tried to turn it into my fault and started saying how I signed him up on these cited. He even placed nude photos, etc... .but still my fault and I did it. Finally, he began telling the neighbors I was involved in prostitution and dealing drugs. I must really be lousy has been my only defense because all I’m doing is working and trying to raise our son... .is this normal for someone with BPD or as a narcissist?

[Confused1215]

We were involved in an accident- my husband has brain seizures and his personality has completely changed to that if a narcissist from what I can tell. He’s been involved in chat rooms, porn and dating sites since shortly after the accident. He continued to lie to me even though I saw the sites in history, chats with girls in circles, and preferred porn to actual sex. I let him make it for awhile, deeming he didn’t know right from wrong - I guess I wanted to hear, “I was stupid, felt lonely and made some mistakes - I’m sorry and I’ll fix it.”  Instead, he tried to turn it into my fault and started saying how I signed him up on these cited. He even placed nude photos, etc... .but still my fault and I did it. Finally, he began telling the neighbors I was involved in prostitution and dealing drugs. I must really be lousy has been my only defense because all I’m doing is working and trying to raise our son... .is this normal for someone with BPD or as a narcissist?

[once removed]

hi Confused1215 and

im very sorry for the circumstances that brought you here, but i am glad you found us. things get better.

theres really no telling how his brain might be affecting him on our end. have you had any conversations about it with his doctors? did he receive any treatment?

how long have the two of you been married? did any of these problems exist before the accident?

lastly, have you let him know about the impending divorce or taken any steps?

[CryWolf]

hey confused,

Once Removed asked some very great questions in which we can help you more, feel free to reply whenever you get the chance 

[Harley Quinn]

Hi Confused,

I'd also like to welcome you and ask if you have also spotted our Family Law, Custody, Co-parenting, Divorce board?  I'm sure that for legal matters you'll find it extremely helpful, as did I.  When you are ready to tell us more we will be here.  You're not alone.  

Love and light x

[Mutt]

Hi Confused1215,



I'd like to join the others and welcome you to the site   I'm sorry that you went through it's hard to tell without  more information you can read stories from other members and see if you see similarities with your story he could also be a pwBPD with narcisstic traits? Have you read the book SWOE? It's good reading and Randi goes through the characteristics of both pwBPD and pwNPD.

Stop Walking on Eggshells

Here's another good book by Bill Eddie:

Splitting; Protecting yourself While Divorcing a Borderline - William Eddy, Esq

[Harley Quinn]

Hi Confused,

Just wondering how you're doing?  Any developments since you last posted?

Love and light x