New, my 19 DD diagnosed last fall, here to connect with you and feel less alone

[onthewaterfront]

I was very glad to find this group. My 19 year-old daughter was diagnosed w/BPD last fall when she was away at college. This was after a suicide attempt. She's had a few. She's a good student, and struggles with friendships and relationships and emotional regulation. This summer has been very difficult. She's begun using a lot of marijuana, drinking and using drugs. And, verbally abusing me and making threats. Now, she's leaving for college again (transferred schools because of bad break up and difficulty with roommate and other friends). I'm afraid it's going to be a repeat of last year. I'm trying to get mental health services set up in the new town, and fortunately I think I've found someone with experience in DBT. She went through that program when she was 15 and it really helped her.
I wonder if anyone else feels so alone. I don't share what is going on with her in any detail with my friends or other family members. I just don't think they'd believe me. I make up excuses at work.
Anyway, I'm just here for support. I'm hoping it will help me to feel less alone.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Feeling Better]

Hello onthewaterfront 

Welcome!

I’m so sorry to hear about what brought you here, but you are definitely in the right place to get help and support. Despite your daughter having had a few suicide attempts you seem to be coping well and you come across as a very caring, strong and supportive mother. I am pleased for you that you have managed to find someone with DBT experience for when your daughter starts college again in a new town.

I wonder if anyone else feels so alone. I don't share what is going on with her in any detail with my friends or other family members. I just don't think they'd believe me. I make up excuses at work.
Anyway, I'm just here for support. I'm hoping it will help me to feel less alone.

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling so alone, I’m sure most of us feel that we are the only ones going through this until we get here. For me personally it was the best thing to have somewhere where others understand and “get it”, it’s such a relief to find out that actually, you are not alone.

You will probably find also that you are not alone in not sharing your daughter’s issues with friends or other family members. Quite often we find that other people just don’t “get it”, especially when the pwBPD appears to be perfectly normal to others. It is often only us, their loved ones, that tend to see their BPD behaviour.

So, let me once again welcome you here and say that most definitely you are not alone x 

[Harri]

Hello and welcome.  I am sorry to hear of your daughters difficulties but glad you found us. 
You are not alone and you can get some wonderful support here.  We have many parents who have been in your shoes are are going through a similar situation. 

Please feel free to explore the site.  We have many articles to read but the best place to start is to look over on the right hand side of the page where you will see many links.  The tools section is especially helpful as is the one just below it called the Lessons.  Read, explore ask questions.

Agin, I am glad you found us and hope to hear more of your story.