possibility of ExBPD GF?

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

Dated a girl for 3 years. Cheated on me a year ago (found used condom in trashcan), I dumped her on the spot but she locked herself in the bedroom and starting cutting her wrists. Begged me to forgive her. I called her parents and they flew in from Italy to "help" her. Ended up staying with her... .

-during R/S was constantly depressed, had no self esteem and very few friends.

6 months after that, got a message from some guy that knew her. He told me that he had no idea us 2 were together and that he hooked up with her while I was away on work. Confronted her and she totally denied it. This guy gave me precise details on what her room looks like... .She gave a million excuses, I dumped her and was 10 minutes away when she texted me "im so sorry for doing this." I drove back because shes an emotional vampire and found that she had supposedly taken a half bottle of sleeping pills. I FORCED her into my car and took her to the hospital. She wouldn't get out and was forced out by a police officer. She begged me to stay with her (after telling me she hated me for taking her to the hospital.) I foolishly stayed because I didn't have definitive evidence she had cheated, although this guy swears on his life (I spoke to him on the phone)

At this point I clearly was in a emotionally abusive relationship. But moving on.

She graduated school, invited me to Italy where she is from. I bought a ticket, 1 week into the trip she insisted on going out without me... .With male friends. I said ___ no and she got ___ing pissed. The next day I said whatever go out with your buddies. Long story short the next day she looks very guilty.

I was looking for Euros in her purse, found used plan B package. Confronted her, she lied about it saying it was for me... .Next 3 weeks shes texting some other dude constantly. Goes out again without me. I confront her again about it, she says she bought it for someone else... .. 3 days later I find evidence she bought it the following morning after going out without me the first time. Confront her and dump her. This is where stuff goes crazy... .

1. She says "you won't believe me, but I was raped.
2. She then says "But I must have wanted it."
3. I tell her we're done, call her parents home.
4. She goes crazy. Can't really remember the details of her craziness.
5. Parents come home, and I leave them to it.
6. She didn't report to police, or go to hospital. Refuses to get checked for STD's

2 days later she is begging me to stay "please stay please stay"

I tell her I'm going home. She pleads with me to stay. I book a flight home and once I hit the button to book my flight she flips out, starts going crazy again. I go downstairs. She is losing her ___, tells me to kill myself, threatens to kill me, tells her parents I need to leave their house (I am in Italy... .) This whole time I am laughing at her which makes her even more mad... .

She leaves the house and doesn't come back for 24 hours. When she comes back I am calm and collected. She follows me around their house while I"m on the phone with my parents. After I hang up she tells me shes sorry for what she said, asks me if I'll stay if she goes to therapy. I say no. Asks me if we can get back together in 2 months. I say ___ no.

Next day she enters therapy. I'm fed up at this point, call her dad to drive me to the airport. As I'm leaving shes on the phone with her therapist. I walk out the door without saying goodbye and she starts bawling (I hear it from the car)

NC for 1 month now. She posted on facebook saying I am a monster and to block all me if I message them. Her family was pissed at me for not staying with my "rape victim gf"

Am I cruel or is this person disturbed?

[BiPxtn2424]

Dated a girl for 3 years. Cheated on me a year ago (found used condom in trashcan), I dumped her on the spot but she locked herself in the bedroom and starting cutting her wrists. Begged me to forgive her. I called her parents and they flew in from Italy to "help" her. Ended up staying with her... .

-during R/S was constantly depressed, had no self esteem and very few friends.

6 months after that, got a message from some guy that knew her. He told me that he had no idea us 2 were together and that he hooked up with her while I was away on work. Confronted her and she totally denied it. This guy gave me precise details on what her room looks like... .She gave a million excuses, I dumped her and was 10 minutes away when she texted me "im so sorry for doing this." I drove back because shes an emotional vampire and found that she had supposedly taken a half bottle of sleeping pills. I FORCED her into my car and took her to the hospital. She wouldn't get out and was forced out by a police officer. She begged me to stay with her (after telling me she hated me for taking her to the hospital.) I foolishly stayed because I didn't have definitive evidence she had cheated, although this guy swears on his life (I spoke to him on the phone)

At this point I clearly was in a emotionally abusive relationship. But moving on.

She graduated school, invited me to Italy where she is from. I bought a ticket, 1 week into the trip she insisted on going out without me... .With male friends. I said ___ no and she got ___ing pissed. The next day I said whatever go out with your buddies. Long story short the next day she looks very guilty.

I was looking for Euros in her purse, found used plan B package. Confronted her, she lied about it saying it was for me... .Next 3 weeks shes texting some other dude constantly. Goes out again without me. I confront her again about it, she says she bought it for someone else... .. 3 days later I find evidence she bought it the following morning after going out without me the first time. Confront her and dump her. This is where stuff goes crazy... .

1. She says "you won't believe me, but I was raped.
2. She then says "But I must have wanted it."
3. I tell her we're done, call her parents home.
4. She goes crazy. Can't really remember the details of her craziness.
5. Parents come home, and I leave them to it.
6. She didn't report to police, or go to hospital. Refuses to get checked for STD's

2 days later she is begging me to stay "please stay please stay"

I tell her I'm going home. She pleads with me to stay. I book a flight home and once I hit the button to book my flight she flips out, starts going crazy again. I go downstairs. She is losing her ___, tells me to kill myself, threatens to kill me, tells her parents I need to leave their house (I am in Italy... .) This whole time I am laughing at her which makes her even more mad... .

She leaves the house and doesn't come back for 24 hours. When she comes back I am calm and collected. She follows me around their house while I"m on the phone with my parents. After I hang up she tells me shes sorry for what she said, asks me if I'll stay if she goes to therapy. I say no. Asks me if we can get back together in 2 months. I say ___ no.

Next day she enters therapy. I'm fed up at this point, call her dad to drive me to the airport. As I'm leaving shes on the phone with her therapist. I walk out the door without saying goodbye and she starts bawling (I hear it from the car)

NC for 1 month now. She posted on facebook saying I am a monster and to block all me if I message them. Her family was pissed at me for not staying with my "rape victim gf"

Am I cruel or is this person disturbed?

[Mutt]

Hi BiPxtn2424,



Her parents must know that she’s difficult but they’re probably enablers if she’s like this. Is she diagnosed? They may have looked the other way with the situations that she was in in the past.

Don’t worry about they think of course they’ll defend their daughter. They’re probably enabling her because they want her to feel better and have you get back together with her. Are they looking out for what’s best for you? If I were her dad I’d tell you that she’s bad news and stay away for your own sake.

If she’s BPD you’re split black it’s par for the course, it’s not realistic thinking calling you a monster is an exaggeration like a young child, BPD is emotional arrested development of a small child.

Kids have black and white thinking, pwBPD have black and white thinking too and can’t see you as an integrated whole good people have bad qualities and bad people have good qualities.

Also pwBPD have a fear of being alone and this is probably a reaction to that I know that it sounds and looks bad things are not always going to be like this. Her intensity will die down eventually keep doing NC.

You’re not cruel or disturbed you want normalcy and want to be tested with respect you have a right to have both.

[SerendipityChild]

Am I cruel or is this person disturbed?

I don't think you are cruel. Just looking out for yourself. Do you think if you stayed things would have gotten better? Or worse?