New, daughter doesn't respond to texts, calls, cancels meet ups, how to handle?

[Broken-heart mom]

I'm new to this site and I could use some advice. My adult daughter does not respond to texts, doesn't answer calls, and when there is a scheduled time to get together with anyone in the family, she cancels. We are all worried, but how can we just pretend this is ok? I don't want to get her angry by being too pushy. Any advice?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Hello Broken-heart Mom  

Welcome to bpdfamily, while I'm sorry what brings you here, I'm glad you've reached out and joined us for support.

You are worried by your daughter's behaviour, not responding to texts, not answering calls and cancels family meet ups. How long has this been happening, when did you last hear from her? I can understand you not wanting to come across too pushy, it's a fine balance. I know in the past when my DD (who lives with me) felt 'not in the right place, overwhelmed' she'd take time out from responding to texts, calls, invites …... it was her way of taking care of herself. She often comes and talks to me about it and I validate her feelings. My DD also cancels at short notice if she's not feeling up to par and the important thing is everyone understands it's not personal.  

Have you ever had an opportunity to sit and listen to why she does not respond, cancel etc?  

Welcome again.

WDx

[Feeling Better]

Hello Broken-heart mom

I would like to join wendydarling in welcoming you here 

How frustrating for you, not to mention the worry, when you don’t get responses to text messages and calls, and then have your daughter cancel family get togethers too. Have you spoken to her about this?

I think it’s probably best, as wendydarling says, to try to not take these things personally, a lot easier said than done I know.

May I ask how old is your daughter?

Look forward to hearing more from you x