Self care - trying

[Depression = 72% of members]

So after a really really rough first part of the year, I want to hope the things wrong with my body are on the mend and I may have found a few health-type solutions to my chronic migraines, weight loss issues, and terrible sleep patterns. 

I've been reading a LOT about nutrition since H's kidney specialist said he needed a low oxalate diet (while still being conscious of keeping it low glucose for his diabetes).  The more I read, the more I learned about how his diabetes pretty much was poisoning his body, how it was allowing a build-up of oxalate which is a toxic byproduct of the metabolism of vitamin C.  Only his ingestion of a huge amount of milk, lots and lots of milk, was just barely keeping kidney stones at bay.  Once we changed his diet and cut milk to reduce sugar intake, we unleashed the oxalate and it built up reducing his ability to absorb any nutrients, diminished his immune system, and lowered his testosterone levels.

Anyway, while learning about how to combat this and "reset" HIS body, I realized my own has been running in a high-stress mode for at least a few years, if not longer.  I realized I am likely fighting a high level of cortisol, the stress hormone, in my body, as it is tied to sleep maintenance insomnia and a slew of other things, like trouble losing weight, so I just found a simple supplement on Amazon with high reviews to try out, not hoping for much... .I also was looking for some probiotics, realizing that some of my problems likely stem from having to take so many antibiotics and killing off anything beneficial in my stomach. 

I can wake up.    

I cannot explain how amazing that is, after only like 2 weeks on this stuff.  I'm not happy to get up by any means, I have never been chipper in the morning, but I also don't feel like a nauseous mess, the room is spinning, I might not be able to stand on one foot to get dressed type of messed up.  I have not had a steady migraine up until I went to a friend's house that always triggers one.  And it went away, and I was okay.  I feel a little bit of weather sensitivity because we are finally getting more rain, but I have not felt like I need to medicate other than being at the friend's house.

I had horrible food poisoning the week before last.   The kind where you miss work and finish lots of books in the porcelain library.  And yet, after the first sleepless night due to tummy issues, I was still able to be up and awake and alert, even though my stomach is still trying to remember how to do its job.  And I have H taking the cortisol remover, too.  And HE's feeling better overall. 

I am really really coming to believe so much of what's wrong with people physically is tied so much to nutrition.  And if his body feels better, so does his mind/heart, usually, meaning he is less likely to fly off the handle as often or as much.  I'm not wanting to jinx it, but oh my goodness I have been despairing of ever having anything remotely like energy again.  I climbed stairs today! On purpose.  I go to H's building on our way to lunch, and I avoid his stairs.  I have had so little energy I cannot explain how horrible that simple flight of stairs looked.  I've been so ashamed of being so weak. 

[isilme]

So after a really really rough first part of the year, I want to hope the things wrong with my body are on the mend and I may have found a few health-type solutions to my chronic migraines, weight loss issues, and terrible sleep patterns. 

I've been reading a LOT about nutrition since H's kidney specialist said he needed a low oxalate diet (while still being conscious of keeping it low glucose for his diabetes).  The more I read, the more I learned about how his diabetes pretty much was poisoning his body, how it was allowing a build-up of oxalate which is a toxic byproduct of the metabolism of vitamin C.  Only his ingestion of a huge amount of milk, lots and lots of milk, was just barely keeping kidney stones at bay.  Once we changed his diet and cut milk to reduce sugar intake, we unleashed the oxalate and it built up reducing his ability to absorb any nutrients, diminished his immune system, and lowered his testosterone levels.

Anyway, while learning about how to combat this and "reset" HIS body, I realized my own has been running in a high-stress mode for at least a few years, if not longer.  I realized I am likely fighting a high level of cortisol, the stress hormone, in my body, as it is tied to sleep maintenance insomnia and a slew of other things, like trouble losing weight, so I just found a simple supplement on Amazon with high reviews to try out, not hoping for much... .I also was looking for some probiotics, realizing that some of my problems likely stem from having to take so many antibiotics and killing off anything beneficial in my stomach. 

I can wake up.    

I cannot explain how amazing that is, after only like 2 weeks on this stuff.  I'm not happy to get up by any means, I have never been chipper in the morning, but I also don't feel like a nauseous mess, the room is spinning, I might not be able to stand on one foot to get dressed type of messed up.  I have not had a steady migraine up until I went to a friend's house that always triggers one.  And it went away, and I was okay.  I feel a little bit of weather sensitivity because we are finally getting more rain, but I have not felt like I need to medicate other than being at the friend's house.

I had horrible food poisoning the week before last.   The kind where you miss work and finish lots of books in the porcelain library.  And yet, after the first sleepless night due to tummy issues, I was still able to be up and awake and alert, even though my stomach is still trying to remember how to do its job.  And I have H taking the cortisol remover, too.  And HE's feeling better overall. 

I am really really coming to believe so much of what's wrong with people physically is tied so much to nutrition.  And if his body feels better, so does his mind/heart, usually, meaning he is less likely to fly off the handle as often or as much.  I'm not wanting to jinx it, but oh my goodness I have been despairing of ever having anything remotely like energy again.  I climbed stairs today! On purpose.  I go to H's building on our way to lunch, and I avoid his stairs.  I have had so little energy I cannot explain how horrible that simple flight of stairs looked.  I've been so ashamed of being so weak. 

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I am really really coming to believe so much of what's wrong with people physically is tied so much to nutrition.  And if his body feels better, so does his mind/heart, usually, meaning he is less likely to fly off the handle as often or as much.  I'm not wanting to jinx it, but oh my goodness I have been despairing of ever having anything remotely like energy again.  I climbed stairs today!

This is great to hear!  Nutrition is really important!

[RolandOfEld]

Great to hear this, isilme. I know you have struggled with physical issues for a long time. Sleep was becoming a huge issue for me but a few simple changes mostly turned the situation around. It's only after you start getting sleep that you understand how vital it is. I hope things keep on an upward spiral for you.

~ROE

[isilme]

  Not to take away from my last post, but we learned last night a friend of about 15 years (I can't even count, not sure how long we knew him) died in a car accident yesterday.  I don't really do well with goodbyes at all, so I'm kind of a zombie today, could not stop crying last night.  H found a tedious video game and lulled himself with that.  I'm okay with that, because as long as he's not yelling at the game it relaxes me.  H surprised me, asking me to learn hen the service will be.  He usually does not even try to go. 

I feel bad, because I feel more moved by the loss of friends or H's family than my own.  I've actually never been to any service for any of my own family, partly due to my dad hiding when mom's relatives died after the divorce, only telling me months after they happened (on Valentine's Day, that's when he chose to tell me my maternal uncle died 6 months back, and my maternal grandfather a whole year).  Maternal grandmother died when I was 5 or 6, we were in the wrong state to attend any service.  Dadd's parents died, but I was NC and chose not to go, sent flowers.  His sister passed, too, that was the hardest one but I did not want to be forced into contact with him at a high emotion event and risk a scene.  Sent flowers. 

This was a nice friend.  He talked like a sailor, because he used to be one, but always got sheepish if I was in the room, embarrassed he spoke curse words in front of a "lady".  He was older than us, so I put him in his 50s?  60s?  Never asked, felt it was rude.  But he had seemed in the last few years to be getting back to looking for a real life, not just existing like a college bachelor, got a full-time job with the sheriff's dept., started dating a lady (he'd commissioned me to make some toys for her kids).

I guess I feel like H, that we've missed a lot of seeing friends in the last year, trying to just manage his health, wearing myself down to where a flight of stairs is too much trouble to tack onto the day.  My heart just kinda hurts today, and my eyes are really puffy.  I hope our friend is teaching the angels some new words about now.   

[CryWolf]

Sending you warm hugs     

Please put your health first at this moment, a lot is going on and it can be easy to get lost processing these emotions and ignoring your health. 

Similar but different, I never really experienced a death in the family until later in life which was my aunt. We were close when I was a child but NC the past decade. Her death brought the family closer, but at the mourning, I felt sadness but not to the extent of others. I was there more for support.

[Tattered Heart]

Nutrition is so important. If you think you are having gut health issues, get some real bone broth and drink a cup every day. It will help heal your gut quicker than just probiotics alone. Antibiotic use can really destroy the flora. When my H stops eating junk and eats healthy, I see a drastic change in his mood and behavior.

Not to get too deep into it, but there is a real link between intestinal health and psychological health. It also affects the immune system. I'm really passionate about this subject. I have not been sick in over 3 years because I try to limit gluten and excessive sugar intake (I still eat both, but limited).  

I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. Praying that you and your husband. I hope that he will process everything as appropriately as he is able so that you can also grieve as needed without having to focus on his behavior also.

Just looked up the cortisol balancer on amazon. Very good ingredients. Did you get the one with L-Thienine? If so, keep an eye on it. It worked very well for my H for awhile, but then it started to have a reverse effect. Magnesium has an excellent calming effect. When my H takes it I can immediately tell because he is not bouncing off the walls with energy. He is actually peaceful.

[an0ught]

Nutrition and gut health are really key and often the basics are neglegted. People favor super foods over reduced quantities of balanced nutrients for yourself and your microbal tennants. Doctors, specialist in particular go for exotic diagnostics in their specialities before checking common inbalances and incompatibilities. It is really up to us to keep the big picture in mind.

[isilme]

Tattered,

Thanks.  I'll just put the amazon link up - not advocating or advertising it, but if anyone wants to look, here it is - someone just let me know if this isn't allowed:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00S1XUS1Y/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

No L-Thienine that I can see, but will look for it in the future.  H reacts weirdly to things like Vicodin makes him sleepy nut too hyper to rest.  His grandmother was apparently like this, some meds had the opposite effect to what was desired.  He cam home from oral surgery, and I was beat as I'd been worried about it, and instead of wanting us to rest, he felt like cleaning the whole house... .meaning he felt like both of us cleaning house O_o.

Also, anyone wanting to lower oxalate in their diet can join a FB group called "Trying Low Oxalates" and then ask them how to get access to their spreadsheet.   They keep it very confidential.  I am trying to talk them into getting the people who make the spreadsheet into working with an app developer.  Since lowering oxalate in the blood stream is the only way to combat calcium-oxalate stones, an app would make trips to the store much easier than trying to navigate a huge spreadsheet on my phone.  But it's been helpful so far.  I am paring it down for our fridge, focusing on items we commonly eat or buy so he can see the levels.  He IS trying.  

Although they are calcium oxalate stones, one big way to combat them is to actually INCREASE calcium.  If you bind the calcium to oxalate early in the digestive process, like have milk with your chocolate, it passes harmlessly through you - this is what happens for most of us.  If you cut calcium, the oxalate ends up in your bloodstream, where it finds its way to your kidneys and sits where it can leach calcium from your body and make stones.  Diabetes alone leaches calcium from you, and makes you imbalanced.

He's kicking himself for not being healthy enough to spend time with our friend.  He'd gotten a message earlier this summer from him, but it was during a stone episode so H just glossed over having health issues and being homebound.  And that was the last contact we had.  Will have.  Still waiting for the service information.  Our friend was from another state, and I am afraid I don't know where he'd want to be put to rest.  I'm not sure if the family is coming to move him, or if someone local is trying to make arrangements.  Trying not to bother anyone to ask - it will be posted eventually.  H is mostly being quiet, not too moody, just quiet.  Since I got him on the cortisol supplement too, he seems less moody overall.  We are both tired.  Not in the way from being sick, just from grief I suppose.  I cried a lot yesterday and the night before.  I tried going to a yoga class with another friend, and during the "quiet your mind with your eyes closed I could not keep tears back - I need to find the instructor (he works in my building) and apologize and explain, as I know he saw it and at least said nothing.

I will see about the bone broth, my insides have been a mess for years.  And yes, the more I read, the more I am learning about how it's all interconnected.  Basically, just like how depression can be caused by your brain overloading one day and deciding to stop recognizing the serotonin you already make, your body can ignore insulin, it can not absorb vitamins, it can get all out of whack.

[isilme]

It is really up to us to keep the big picture in mind.

Yeah.  I am becoming an armchair nutritionist.  After so much reading, I now know how he formed stones in the first place, how his diabetes has caused some of the most distressing issues, like a drop in testosterone, and finally have some ideas on how to combat it.  I got kinda mad at a neurologist about 2014 he went to for migraines - he said the MD didn't really want to talk about triggers and causes, just seemed busy and overworked and wanted to prescribe something and move to the next patient.  Had the neurologist had more time, been more concerned about causes and prevention, he may have helped us discover H's diabetes sooner, and some of the neuropathy could have been avoided.  It's not his fault, I know we weren't seeing an endocrinologist, but between his GP, his urologist, we'd not gotten any idea WHY he suddenly started making stones.  After learning WHAT he makes, I was able in one morning to piece it all together through an intense search information about oxalates. 

Our desire to cut sugar cut calcium, because we cut milk.  This increased his oxalate, which was likely already high due to undiagnosed diabetes.  Then, we tried almond milk and soy milk, and I had him eating lots of peanut butter.  This is all fine if you are not prone to being high oxalate.  It's actually good for many diabetics, the nut-protein helps heep you from peaks and crashes with your sugar.  His particular chemistry though turned all of that into stones.