Yes it still bothers me, because I am still trying to figure out, if she really has fundamentally changed and would be a good girilfriend for me now.
No worries. I see. Mm yes I appreciate a bit of what this might be like. I asked myself this a lot in assessing whether I would get back together with my ex, before the 'final' ending. Something that helped me is to ask myself what's most important to
me, about
her, that I want in a relationship. That could make the 'fundamental' easier for you to figure out.
But these kind of thoughts show me something more worth. I need to work harder on me, myself and my self-worth.
I think asking questions of yourself as I suggested will contribute to your inventory. It'll probably add to your worth because you'll get clarity as to what you want in a partner, that's linked to what you think you can bring. If you're not where you want to be (a lot of people feel this way), then moving forward it will show you where you'll probably want to work on yourself.
And I need to have better women in my life, so I can forget her easier.
While having more choice will help you, I think it's also about setting yourself up so your possibilities are closer to where you want them. I think it's counterproductive to look for more women if you're going to have the same pot with x% of probably-BP females. So I encourage you to work on yourself (work, hobbies, emotional health, etc.) so your pot of women resembles something closer to what you want--that's taking advantage of what Kerr and Bowen shared about people tending to match with "complementarity".
Enjoy your peace.
