Divorcing, seeking learning and understanding

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

Read the book "Stop Walking on Egg Shells".  It was like a biography of the last 5 years of my life.  It's wasn't 100% correlated to my life, but it certainly wasn't far off.  I'm in the middle of a divorce with this person and it wasn't until I stepped away that I truly appreciated and started seeking others for what had happened.  There were signs.  I did a lot right and I could of done a lot better.  When I stepped away from the situation I realized I had missed opportunities.  I had a well know knowledgeable counselor tell me that my situation sounded like I was married to someone with BPD nearly 2 years ago.  I couldn't get her to him, so I encouraged her to go to others. I wish I had started my journey for answers then.  After we split up and I felt comfortable to open up to some close friends the information and resources people pointed me to all were about BPD.  Once I started researching and reading information about BPD it was shocking.  Again it was like someone had videotaped my life and wrote a book, article or did a video about my life. I am in the early process of seeking help to reinforce the good habits I have learned or have and improve the areas that which present themselves for greatest opportunity for improvement. This is all I am going to write for now, because there is so much I am learning and trying to understand.  

[Idahohusband]

Read the book "Stop Walking on Egg Shells".  It was like a biography of the last 5 years of my life.  It's wasn't 100% correlated to my life, but it certainly wasn't far off.  I'm in the middle of a divorce with this person and it wasn't until I stepped away that I truly appreciated and started seeking others for what had happened.  There were signs.  I did a lot right and I could of done a lot better.  When I stepped away from the situation I realized I had missed opportunities.  I had a well know knowledgeable counselor tell me that my situation sounded like I was married to someone with BPD nearly 2 years ago.  I couldn't get her to him, so I encouraged her to go to others. I wish I had started my journey for answers then.  After we split up and I felt comfortable to open up to some close friends the information and resources people pointed me to all were about BPD.  Once I started researching and reading information about BPD it was shocking.  Again it was like someone had videotaped my life and wrote a book, article or did a video about my life. I am in the early process of seeking help to reinforce the good habits I have learned or have and improve the areas that which present themselves for greatest opportunity for improvement. This is all I am going to write for now, because there is so much I am learning and trying to understand.  

[Lucky Jim]

Hey Idahohusband,Welcome!  Your story is quite familiar and you are not alone, believe me.  I'm sorry to hear what you are going through.  Many of us have been down this path before you.  At what stage is your divorce?  How long were you married?  It sounds like you learned about BPD from a "knowledgeable counselor" and have done a lot of reading on the subject, including SWOE.   Are you still seeing this T?  How are you feeling about your post-BPD life?  What are your greatest challenges at present?  How can we help?

LuckyJim

[pearlsw]

Hi Idahohusband,

Oh! Sorry you didn't get this information sooner! I think a lot of us feel this way! If we had just known sooner it could perhaps have made such a difference. But it sounds like you are making the best of where you are in the present and open to learning - that should serve you well as go on in life.

What sorts of things have you been learning and want to reinforce?

wishing you the best, pearl.