My wife (udx/BPD step mom) says she doesn’t know if she loves my autiistic son or not?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Hmmm,

Me and the boy got home about four... .another big drama scene... .apparently it is all my fault... .some yelling back and forth... .

I get boy off to shower... .after him and I spent some time outside sitting on the porch... .so off to the shower he goes, I watch the news in the office, and sure enough... .she starts in AGAIN on him,

I scream at her to LEAVE HIM ALONE,

She further loses it... .so I tell her that the boy and I will find another place to live, yeah that is a big idea I had while sitting on the back porch, to just leave it all behind to get away from her.

But she argues with me and she tells me NO that she will be the one that will leave.

She calls her S#2 (foo sister no.2)... .asks her to help her find a place... .

So now she is taking things off the wall, she gave me her wedding bands, she is putting things into a few boxes... .

I think she is serious this time... .she told her S#2 as such on the phone of course where me and the boy could hear it all... .

Would you believe that my S33 autistic started to cry and tried to ask her “why”... .she told him that “obviously we don’t get along”... .

What a $hit show... .

Going to be a long weekend ; (

And there was a txt exchange that I was put on between her two adult children... .wow, guess that was a mistake,

I have to say though, if this is all for real, I have a feeling of distant relief... .

We’ll see... .

Red5

[Red5]

Hmmm,

Me and the boy got home about four... .another big drama scene... .apparently it is all my fault... .some yelling back and forth... .

I get boy off to shower... .after him and I spent some time outside sitting on the porch... .so off to the shower he goes, I watch the news in the office, and sure enough... .she starts in AGAIN on him,

I scream at her to LEAVE HIM ALONE,

She further loses it... .so I tell her that the boy and I will find another place to live, yeah that is a big idea I had while sitting on the back porch, to just leave it all behind to get away from her.

But she argues with me and she tells me NO that she will be the one that will leave.

She calls her S#2 (foo sister no.2)... .asks her to help her find a place... .

So now she is taking things off the wall, she gave me her wedding bands, she is putting things into a few boxes... .

I think she is serious this time... .she told her S#2 as such on the phone of course where me and the boy could hear it all... .

Would you believe that my S33 autistic started to cry and tried to ask her “why”... .she told him that “obviously we don’t get along”... .

What a $hit show... .

Going to be a long weekend ; (

And there was a txt exchange that I was put on between her two adult children... .wow, guess that was a mistake,

I have to say though, if this is all for real, I have a feeling of distant relief... .

We’ll see... .

Red5

[Cat Familiar]

As awful as it currently is, it could be a blessing in disguise. Certainly would cut down upon your stress level. And perhaps you could even make steps toward repairing the relationship if you two live apart, of course, should you want to do that.

You've been through so many hellish scenes with her, you might just need a break, and so might she.

Not easy, however this turns out. But you know that you have to protect your boy, cause she sure won't.

   
Cat

[empath]

Okay, she's got help with the moving out process... . When my h decided that he was gonna move out, he had a friend and his dad encouraging him and helping with the details.

I kinda was thankful that he decided to leave on his own. In the moment, I just tried to be calm and let him take the lead, asking what he wanted me to do as he was packing and moving things. I left the house while he was doing it. I figured that since he felt like he was going to hurt himself or me, the best option for all of us was for him to leave on his own accord.

Her leaving allows for less vigilance with your boy... . 

[Red5]

Yes Cat & empath, .I too think this may be blessing, and one in disguise as Cat says... .I don’t feel sad... .there are no tears, I have this feeling of “finally”... .I feel as though I’ve done all I could have ever done, but the reality is that this marraige was most likely doomed to fail from the very beginning... .but I did not possess the knowledge of BPD as I do now.

Yes empath, she seems to be proceeding smartly this time, she is eyeing the outer markers so to speak, I think she is also ready to go... .

Of course I will “help” in what ever capacity I can... .as in be totally agreeable and ready to apply “grease to the skids” so that this evolution is expedited,

While ago she informed me that she was taking all the furniture, save my boys bedroom, and what is in “my man cave”... .

She can have it all, I really don’t care, I will be cordial and agreeable and take all the blame as she sails off down the street... .

But once that main hatch closes... .it closes for good !

... .I’ve had quite enough of this,

Once she is gone things will be peaceful in our lives once again, like it was back in 2006 after my first divorce... .it was just me and the kids... .I miss that,

Thanks for listening... .Red5

[Cat Familiar]

"Taking all the furniture" seems like them's fighting words, as if she expected you to challenge her.

My ex, when he left, took several things that he gave me as gifts--at the time, I realized he had bought those things for himself, but he justified it as giving it to me as birthday or Christmas presents... .and when he packed up and left with them, I knew the truth. It actually made me smile during a very difficult time, but the truth set me free--as did divorce court!

[Red5]

"Taking all the furniture" seems like them's fighting words, as if she expected you to challenge her.

Maybe so, but I really don’t care... .I am pretty desperate for her to leave... .so yes, she can really have it all!

I started completely over after my first divorce in 2006, .from scratch basically... .with three teenagers to boot!

I have to say that I do look forward to doing this all over again... .wow,

What does it say about a person, who one day has experienced such a grevious loss as what happened yesterday... .that little dog had been her companion for fourteen years... .she got her right after her first divorce... .yesterday’s event was terrible, she was a very special member of the family, we all loved her and we had to watch her pass away... .Jesus I’m crying just writing this... .

But less than twenty four hours later, she changes her channel and declares she is leaving me... .’after she started the whole dang thing’... .I’m still greiving little Kricket dog, but her, no I’m not, not one tear... .I’m actually relieved in the pending eventuality that she may be leaving for good... .I am having a hard time understanding this... .how can her mind work that way,  but who really knows what goes on in a BPD’s mind... .

And who whacks an autistic boy (man?) in the head... .she went after it... .you should have heard her “JADE” to big sis #2 earlier on the phone... .about how the 180 pound man child threatened her... .ugh ; (

My son is like a compilation of Forrest Gump - the “Rain Man” - and Gilbert Grape’s little brother “Arnie”... .

... .just the sweetest kid... .so why all the authoritarianism... .could it be “foo related trama”... .survey says... .yes!

Yeah, take it all, take the dishes, the coffee pot... .the washing machine... .take the trash outa the trash can... .just please go... .that might be a “cat in the hat” jingle  !

She poured out all my wine today too, said I was a lazy drunk... .hmmm,

Red5

[empath]

I'm so sorry about little Kricket, on top of everything else.

BPD can twist situations into unrecognizable distortions... .  but you can't figure that out in the moment because it's all behind the storm of emotions. And it's all other people who are the problem.

[Red5]

I'm so sorry about little Kricket, on top of everything else.

BPD can twist situations into unrecognizable distortions... . but you can't figure that out in the moment because it's all behind the storm of emotions. And it's all other people who are the problem.

I am very weary of being distorted and twisted... .tonight she said on the phone to her sis, “living here is not doing my health any good”... .wow, just wow... .

As she is the one who is constantly stiring up trouble in our home... .if it’s not one thing then it’s something else, most times... .if not every time; totally manufactured mayhem and chaos... .

I am quite sure that tomorrow will bring even more.

I expect to be completely character assasinated once again to her foo, as they are the ones who will help in her escape from this terrible home she is living in.

She showed me a long ago whom she really is... .but I dismissed it... .

What’s the line... .“when a person shows you who they really are, believe them the first time”,

It’s going to be tuff for a while, but I think that myself and my son will be much better off on our own.

Oh’ well... .

Red5

[flourdust]

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