Spent: Financially and mentally

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

After many years married to a woman with BPD, five years of divorce and constant litigation has left me beyond spent.  I feel hopeless.  165k in legal fees defending myself.

[AloneAtSea]

After many years married to a woman with BPD, five years of divorce and constant litigation has left me beyond spent.  I feel hopeless.  165k in legal fees defending myself.

[Chitchat]

Your exhaustion is clear in your post. If you are not solvent, that will add hugely to your strain. But if you are free of the relationship, then things will not be hopeless.

[Lucky Jim]

Hey AloneAtSea, You are not alone, brother.  I went through a protracted divorce from my BPDxW, which she extended through post-divorce proceedings, which wiped me out financially.  Yet my financial losses were offset by emotional gains, as I'm a lot happier leading a drama-free life.  It's a long game, so don't throw in the towel.  Suggest you put yourself first and be kind to yourself.  You are on a better path, my friend.

LuckyJim

[spero]

After many years married to a woman with BPD, five years of divorce and constant litigation has left me beyond spent.  I feel hopeless.  165k in legal fees defending myself.

Hello AloneAtSea,

I'm so sorry that you're in a bad place. This mental exhaustion must feel like heavy weights weighing down your shoulders and heart.
Welcome back to the boards and this community. I see that you've not posted for a while since last year. How are you right now over the past 10 months or so?

Yours,
Spero

[Mutt]

Hi AloneAtSea,

165k in legal fees defending myself.

Is the divorce finalized? Can she end up paying for some or all of your attorney fees? I agree with the others you can't put a price on your mental health. I'm sorry that you're going through this and it's good for you to be back, it helps to talk to others. Do you have a T? A good T can really help you a lot.