I don't feel anything

[Euler2718]

All right, a big issue with the BPD was she felt unloved. Who could blame her? I told her I loved her but couldn't say I was "in love" with her. I was sitting closed. Now it's my mission to be a "feeler", but how? I noticed that since she moved on I feel bad, pretty bad, and stuck, but if I can cry some it gets better. But I can't do that often or well. As the son of a marine, I hate to ask, but how can I learn to feel more? I want to find this so my romance can succeed, but I'm sure God would also want this do I can be more "whole".

Sometimes I feel like puking but I can't make that happen either. Crying sounds healthier though.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Turkish]

I'm one of those here who never felt "in love" with their partner. A couple of women here admitted this when I posted my feelings.

She cornered me in the midst of an affair and cried, "are you even in love with me?" Honestly at the time, I was silent. Yet if I were honest before the affair,  I'd have to say no... .yet I had two kids with her.  I did feel some guilt. I still kind of do, despite it all and what age put me and the kids through. 

[Euler2718]

Being cornered and asked that is an automatic shutdown. Just think of what "being cornered" is, it's bring trapped in a corner. Any animal would get defensive, shutting down is our defense. BPD asked me multiple times if I was in love with her and I couldn't give the correct answer. Later, I wrote out what being in love meant to me and read it to her (post separation). Writing it down when I was calm made it possible. I carried it as a picture on my phone so I could read it to her if it ever came up again. Not very romantic, some might say, but at least it conveyed a truth I couldn't emote naturally like some undamaged guy would.