Mom isn’t accepting BPD dx doesn’t understand why kids don’t want to visit

[boldbp]

My soon to be ex has been diagnosed with Bipolar, she had her first manic with psychosis episode that our children had experienced first hand. This was very traumatic for our 14 yo daughter and 10 yo son. This happened the first week of September and she has been out of the hospital for about two weeks. She has only seen the kids 2 time during this time and the first time was for 20 min and called me to pick them up and the second was for 5 min in front of my house. She has been calling daily but the phone calls are about 2-4 minutes per kid with the same questions every time. The kids and myself have been attending counseling, my son especially expresses concern and worries Mom isn’t taking care of herself. I have told him she is taking her meds and going to therapy. How do I get her to conversat with the kids about her diagnosis if she doesn’t accept it. She has stated to me that I was the one that put her in the hospital and I am keeping the kids away from her and filling there heads with negative things about her. She also states that there is nothing wrong with her and she is only going along with meds and therapy because she has to.

[Woolspinner2000]

Hi boldbp, 

Sure sounds like your life has been chaotic recently! How stressed you must feel. Even though this dignosis is recent, have you been aware of concerns for some time? What kind of behaviours have you observed?

It is very hard when our loved ones won't admit that anything is wrong with them. It's a protection that they wrap around themselves to sooth the many feelings going on inside of them. Regardless of whether or not she accepts it, you have been given some clues to help you move forward and to support your children. That is quite key.

While it is hard for them to accept, here is an article that can help you to understand the struggle:  Anosognosia and Getting a "Borderline" into Therapy.

What other things are your children saying about their mom? Do they appear afraid of her?

Wools

[boldbp]

Wools,

I have always felt there was something off, during our marriage the emotional roller coaster was always in effect. She lately has distanced herself from myself and the kids. I wouldn’t say the kids are scared but definitely uncomfortable. During her episode they experienced seeing her with multiple personalities, ripping the house apart, along with other things. The kids and I are continually discussing her illness, unfortunately my ex will not discuss anything that happened and basically ignores her actions. I understand she may not remember anything but there are police reports and hospital papers explaining some of her actions. The kids are worried about their mothers health and want to see her move forward and get help. If you don’t believe you have an illness it’s hard to move forward.