Hi BPDSpouse87 and welcome! So glad you found us here. This is a community of people with the same experiences who will be more than happy to share our insights with you. You will definitely find the answers you need to guide you through this difficult time.
I strongly suggest you have a look at some of the
skills workshops here as well as post on other members' threads to gain context on your own.
Could you start by walking us through some of your wife's behaviors that you would classify as BPD?
Sending you strength,
RolandOfEld