I just want to move past it all

[JNChell]

I can’t sleep and work is a few hours away. I’m hungry, but I can’t eat until my Son is safely in my arms again. I’m just tired and need to vent. I don’t want to bash anyone. Not even my folks. I don’t want to bash anymore, I just want to move past it all. It’s been taking up too much of my space. Too much mental real estate. I’m not even pissed off about it anymore.

I want to lay on my couch with a comfortable blanket. I want to hear the furnace kick on while watching a decent movie and feel cozy. I don’t want these thoughts anymore.
The thoughts never go away. I think, ok, I’ll find a partner. That’s worked out so well. I’m bound by child to what I’ve been trying to escape. I miss my confidence. I miss feeling good. I’m just tired and needed to rant.

[Harri]

Hi JNChell.

You've been dealing with a lot and it is okay to take a break.  I am glad you posted.  You will get you back but the you will be forever changed for the better.

Why not let yourself curl up on the couch in a blanket and watch a good movie tonight?  It's good to do that sometimes. 

[Kwamina]

Hi JNChell

How are you feeling now? Were you able to get a little sleep before you needed to get up to go to work?

I just want to move past it all.

I would say that moving forward is a positive objective to have so I think your desire to move past the negativity is a healthy one.

Sometimes we just need to give ourselves a break and let ourselves feel the tiredness we have without pushing it away, but also without clinging to it. Just let it be... .let it pass... .and then continue to keep on trucking! (panda style!  )

Take care

The Board Parrot

[JNChell]

Thanks, Harri. The symptoms have been difficult lately. It can become exhausting. I get to have the night with my Son tomorrow. If he’s up for it, I think that we’ll be doing a movie and blankets with our bellies full. I can’t wait to see him.

[JNChell]

Hi, Kwamina. Nice to talk to you again. I’m feeling ok. Not great, but still kicking. Tough stuff. It is what it is, but thank you for asking.

Just letting things be has been a real struggle. It makes all the sense in the world to me, but putting it into practice has been difficult. How do I prioritize an already scattered mind into implementing this practice into so many things at once? I’m having trouble getting a hold on it.