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Author Topic: Son needs place to live - not with us  (Read 644 times)
FaithHopeLove
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« on: January 10, 2019, 10:14:15 PM »

Just an update. DS24 the weed dealer wBPD was told by his landlord to vacate his apartment by yesterday because other tenants complained about marijuana smoke coming from his apartment. Several deals for a new apartment fell through. He is under a lot of pressure right now. He stopped by our house yesterday and was very sweet to us both but I could tell he was stressed. No doubt he is still shaken by the robbery (remember he was robbed at gunpoint in his apartment this week. Oh the joys of the criminal lifestyle) My husband is going to see if they can go apartment hunting tomorrow. The good news is our relationship with him is way better. The bad news is his lifestyle
We soo wish he would rethink his choices. I have hope he will. I have to.
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
Only Human
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« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2019, 11:38:28 PM »

Thanks for the update, FHLKC!

It's good you're standing firm on DS living elsewhere, while still supporting him with these recent changes, events. I'm so happy to hear that your relationship is way better, that must be such a relief for you all!

~ OH
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"It's our god forsaken right to be loved, loved, loved, loved."
-Jason Mraz, I'm Yours
FaithHopeLove
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« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2019, 11:46:59 PM »

Thank you OH. It has not been easy but his father and I are learning to accept him for who he is. Obviously we don't agree with all of his choices.  DS knows that. But we love him unconditionally.
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wendydarling
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« Reply #3 on: January 11, 2019, 12:08:13 PM »

FHLKC while my DD is not a weed dealer I do believe when we accept them for who they are they grow, we grow, the relationship can 'blossom' we're not banging our heads against things out of our control. You mentioned in another post weed is about to be legalised, how will that change things for your son? Wishing you a peaceful weekend, you sure deserve it.

WDx
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Be kind, always and all ways ~ my BPD daughter
FaithHopeLove
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« Reply #4 on: January 12, 2019, 03:27:20 AM »

I am not sure how legalizing marijuana will affect my son. He may or may not "go legit." He has talked about purchasing a dispensary but it is very costly.
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wendydarling
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« Reply #5 on: January 12, 2019, 04:05:59 AM »

Thanks for sharing that FHLKC. I hope he finds somewhere to settle soon, keep us posted.
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Be kind, always and all ways ~ my BPD daughter
FaithHopeLove
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« Reply #6 on: January 12, 2019, 05:33:31 AM »

Thanks
 I will keep you posted. I am hoping this move will be good for him. There are many bad memories associated with the apartment he lives in now. He initially shared it with his GF
 Then they broke up. Now the robbery. He needs a fresh start.
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Only Human
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Love is still the answer


« Reply #7 on: January 12, 2019, 09:52:51 PM »

Hi again,

I agree, he needs a fresh start and it's great you are supporting his efforts. How did the apartment hunting go with his dad?

~ OH
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"It's our god forsaken right to be loved, loved, loved, loved."
-Jason Mraz, I'm Yours
Only Human
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Relationship status: divorced since the 90's
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Love is still the answer


« Reply #8 on: January 12, 2019, 10:18:53 PM »

I see you've posted about what I asked about - I'll see you in your other thread 

~ OH
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"It's our god forsaken right to be loved, loved, loved, loved."
-Jason Mraz, I'm Yours
Mirsa
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« Reply #9 on: February 03, 2019, 03:24:52 PM »

So glad to see how you've managed to love and support him without rescuing him and letting him move back in.  Thank you for sharing that, as I'm sure I will be in that position in a few months to a year.  I hope to hold strong and appreciated seeing what you did to support him in a loving way, but also protect yourselves and the peace of your home.
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