NPD Traits I believe

[Our abuse recovery guide]

I am over a year NC with my sister and my life is going well.  I am getting certified in yoga and part of it studying the mind.  I also am in therapy and read a lot about NPD but I am not a doctor... .Still, the more I read about Narcissistic Personality Disorder the more parallels I see with my sister.  I still believe she is borderline, but has so many NPD traits.  An example is that I shared with her I had bulimia in my teens and early 20's.  Apparently she is still posting on her conduct disorders forum that I have anorexia.  She writes on that forum like we are in close touch but the truth is, I have not seen her in over a year and we have not talked in over a year.  What does she know about me?  My social media doesn't show much, pictures I guess if she is stalking me but my physicals always show I am healthy and my doctors have no concerns.  Yes I am thin.  Of course she never mentions I am on a diuretic due to an inner ear disease but hey, folks with NPD do this.  She also goes after my daughter whom honestly she hasn't seen over 10 years.  My sister skipped our dads funeral... .She also continues to rewrite history and make details up.  Right now these are facts I have proof of, not things I "think"... .My sister uses her thoughts and writes of them like they are facts.  Yes, my bro has looked on her website.  Yes he shares, it is fine.  I love him dearly and we can shake our heads together.  Anyone else see a parallel with their BPD relative as having many NPD traits?  The list is longer but time to go back to work.

[Pina colada]

I am over a year NC with my sister and my life is going well.  I am getting certified in yoga and part of it studying the mind.  I also am in therapy and read a lot about NPD but I am not a doctor... .Still, the more I read about Narcissistic Personality Disorder the more parallels I see with my sister.  I still believe she is borderline, but has so many NPD traits.  An example is that I shared with her I had bulimia in my teens and early 20's.  Apparently she is still posting on her conduct disorders forum that I have anorexia.  She writes on that forum like we are in close touch but the truth is, I have not seen her in over a year and we have not talked in over a year.  What does she know about me?  My social media doesn't show much, pictures I guess if she is stalking me but my physicals always show I am healthy and my doctors have no concerns.  Yes I am thin.  Of course she never mentions I am on a diuretic due to an inner ear disease but hey, folks with NPD do this.  She also goes after my daughter whom honestly she hasn't seen over 10 years.  My sister skipped our dads funeral... .She also continues to rewrite history and make details up.  Right now these are facts I have proof of, not things I "think"... .My sister uses her thoughts and writes of them like they are facts.  Yes, my bro has looked on her website.  Yes he shares, it is fine.  I love him dearly and we can shake our heads together.  Anyone else see a parallel with their BPD relative as having many NPD traits?  The list is longer but time to go back to work.

[zachira]

There is a strong link between having both NPD and BPD traits. People with NPD are afraid of being seen for less than the outstanding person that they want others to believe they are. People with BPD are afraid of being abandoned. My mother with BPD fears being abandoned by her children and has many narcissistic traits. I am sad that you have to deal with your sister treating you so badly.

[JNChell]

Hey, Pina Colada. BPD/NPD overlap quite a bit and are often co-morbid. My Son’s mom presents with traits from both, but I believe that she is subclinical (not diagnosable). It does sound like there’s a lot of narcissism at play in your situation. It is so hard to identify the switch between borderline and narcissistic behavior. I describe S4’s mom as a highly narcissistic borderline. She’s not extreme in either one, but it’s enough to be mind bending. There are some pretty extreme cases that are are testified about within this support group.

I can’t really share anything as to having a relative that embarks in this kind of behavior. I believe that my mom was BPD and my dad NPD. Regardless, they were highly abusive people that denied what they did. It boils down to behavior and the ability to take responsibility for it and an honest attempt to make things right.

I’m sorry that you’re still going through this and that your sister is going after your daughter. If I read your post correctly, does your brother simpathize with your sis?

[Pina colada]

As always thank you zachira for your support!  JNChell my brother and I are close and he is on to our sister and her tricks.  Such is life.  I can't control it and NC helps. Having disordered parents ia no fun and can set us up to get involved with disordered partners too as I did.  Each day we learn more.  Grateful for everyone here!