What can I do?

[Akita]

So my BPDw was very sick and had been trying to sleep on the couch where me and our son were watching TV.  I told her she could go to bed or stay out there with us and watch a show.  She went into the bedroom and I again went to her and made it clear I wasn't banishing her to the bedroom that she was still welcome to stay in the living room if she wanted to I just thought it would be good for her to have a rest as she had been ill all day.  So I left her alone to make up her mind.  She stayed in the bedroom for maybe 30 min and I went to check on her and found her cutting in the bathroom.  I was very upset and asked her why she did that and she said because she felt selfish for staying in the bedroom.  When I said why didn't you just come out if you felt that way she said she didn't want to ignore my helpful suggestion and seem ungrateful so she was cornered by the decision on whether to stay in the bedroom or not?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Mutt]

Hi Akita,

I’m sorry that you had to walk I to that that most of been a scary experience for you. I just wanted to share with you what a registered P told me about my S13 and cutting. Some people have difficulties or don’t know how to regulate their emotions so they’ll turn to drugs, alcohol or cutting to release those feelings. My point is I don’t think that it was that specific situation that was the trigger these feelings were building up.

Do you see a T or a P?

[Akita]

Sometimes I go to her sessions with her.  She specifically said the overwhelming feeling of selfishness made her need to cut.

[Steps31]

Have you tried DBT therapy?

[Akita]

She has been through 5 therapists.  Her current one is DBT certified.  She also attends weekly DBT group sessions for 2 hours a week.  I think she finally feels some hope for herself.

[Steps31]

I see... .
What did she say or do that you think she finally feels hope for herself?
Maybe you can build off that... .

[Akita]

Her frequency of cutting went down for serval weeks although now it's back up.  She seems to trust this therapist and has opened up about some sexual issues she has with her.  I'm hoping she can discuss her childhood trauma finally.