Which parent has responsibility for school contact? I'm asking because once I was the primary parent for school issues, things changed. Maybe not greatly, but things changed for the better. Let me explain.
She finally, two years into the separation and divorce process, agreed to settle on Trial Day. We knew the Custody Evaluator recommended to start with Shared Parenting. So I held out for our state's "Residential Parent for School Purposes". She begged, she cried. Both lawyers, mine too, insisted it didn't mean anything at all. I said, "It's that or we start the trial." She caved. My lawyer probably thought I was daft but I was in charge of school. Since it was March, I asked the school to permit him to remain in his kindergarten class to complete the school year. They agreed, or so I thought. During the next month she created scenes at school and one day in late April, with only 5 weeks to the end of the school year, they notified me I had one day to enroll him in my own school's kindergarten class in the neighboring district. Imagine, if she had been Residential Parent, they would have been stuck with her and they wouldn't have been able to do anything about it. But once they determined she continued to be a problem, they washed their hands of us with one day's notice. That is why I sought school responsibility, something the lawyers pooh-poohed. Oh, and she moved a few times, once out of the county, so having school responsibility saved son from some school changes and me from following her residence choices.
Do you see? If I had let her continue with school priority, nothing there would have changed. But getting that slight edge - which the lawyers insisted didn't mean anything - turned the tide. Sure, she was still entitled, she was still disparaging, but I controlled school. As it turned out she moved a couple times, once even outside the county, but I didn't have to rush after her because our son didn't have to go anywhere with her, he stayed in my school system.
While we don't know all your circumstances, do you see that pondering your situation and determining what there is that you can adjust, even if they seem small meaningless changes at first, may really benefit you in ways you can't imagine at first glance?
