Tonight is one of those nights that is a bit of a struggle for me. I got an email and texts from my H that threw me off. I felt accused and blamed, and there was some of that going on in his words. Some of it is true, such as him saying I've been secretive. Yes, I had to be in order to keep a safety plan for myself.
Do you see the FOG in this?
It's tough leaving any marriage, you loved this person for a long time and have a long history together. You don't want to hurt the other person but in the separation process the dynamic is changing. Rather than looking out for the two of you as a couple, things shift to looking after yourself (and your kids). I think to anyone who is empathetic this shift is difficult ... .you feel like you are being mean, or selfish but sometimes we have to be to extricate ourselves. It is okay to take care of you and to look out for your interests, in fact I would say it is necessary. You don't need to go out of your way to be unkind but you do need to protect yourself and look out for yourself and sometimes that means being tough and fighting for what you deserve.
Beware... .be aware... .of the FOG.
Panda39
