I'm starting therapy alone just for me. They "specialize in BPD"

[Sandb2015]

Second session today with a LCSW... .

Great listener... .sympathy, check

Empathy, check

Aggressive, falling way short.

I don’t need hand holding... .F ing bs ( no offense here)

I’m so self aware, I do have a such insight, I’ve been mangled spiritually and thanks to Kierkegaard and Nietzsche, in my life and bpdfamily together in what may seem a strange mix, I’m understanding myself and her in such a different way now apart from the pain I’m healing from.

I do want a “specialist”... .seems everyone is a “specialists”, I call bs.  I want to be ripped apart by a psychologist with guts and my medical coverage will get me to a psychiatrist that will cut a scrip for sedatives, 250-300 a week out of pocket for a psychologist ain’t happening... .,,

Where to go from here... .have my mind relying on it, family and friends.

Getting my love some help if she’s willing is a different scenario, me, the system is questionable to say the least...

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Red5]

... .one hundred and thirty for 1.5 hours for me, I pay cash no insurance stuff, don’t want that to cross the clearance radar.

I bring my own coffee.

My T kind of reminds me of the T (Dr Dix) characterized in the “Jesse Stone” made for television series,

So far so good, he lets me run out to the end of my leash... .so to speak... .

Yesterday he said to me... .“no, she is never going to change Red, she will be fifty two in a few months... .money says she will only get worse... .now cover her BPD in her cancer diagnoses... .this is tough stuff... .  in the event though extremely unlikely... .she does come back home one day, you’ll have to practice ‘radical acceptance’ and as well let her be her, .he continued... .like and alcoholic does not “have”’ alcoholism, and alcoholic ‘is’ and alcoholic... .that’s who we are... .an ‘alcoholic’... .same  with your wife’s undiagnosed borderline, she does not ‘have’ borderline personality disorder, .no, she is a borderline... .that’s who she is, and that’s what she will always be... .’that’s who’ she will always be... .you are going to have to accept this, sounds like you have but you are struggling... .now add your son into the picture... .”

Hmmmm?

He is right.

Lots to think on,

Red5

[once removed]

finding a therapist that is a good fit is process, like finding a hair stylist, or a personal trainer, or anything else.

having said that, no therapist will begin the relationship by "ripping you apart" 

have you communicated to this therapist what it is that youre after?

[Sandb2015]

Thanks once removed,

I'm an aggressive thinker, reader, I've saturated myself with as much knowledge as I can and I just don't see my T as someone who can be specific, I'm looking to answer questions.

If I discuss with the T what it is I'm seeking comfort in, I'm thinking it would be better to start a new search, they don't "specialize" in BPD.

I am not looking to hurry by any means, but I'd like to feel challenged and I'm thinking Psychologist that specializes as opposed to a "general" T that is "good" across the board.

The problem... .very common... .they don't take my healthcare and I don't have the dough.

I am pursuing, the system just sucks.