I decided to make no contact for valentines…

[Depression = 72% of members]

I don't know which is better . letting her know I still care... or pretending not to care... I decided to make no contact today…... and instead, I am remembering how many birthday and valentines cards she tore up in my face, how many valentines flowers and candies that " were stupid ", and how many time she hit me , kicked me, cut up my clothes and purposely set my dogs loose and told me she " hoped they got hit by a car "... .and yeah, and all the ridiculous cop calls and lies to friends and neighbors... .…….I still feel I should touch base and let her know I care... .but …... .really whoever the new man is... " better him than me "... .shes an idiot and nothing will change that... so I'm trying to keep it all in perspective and just fade away... .still hurts... .

[dumpsterdog]

I don't know which is better . letting her know I still care... or pretending not to care... I decided to make no contact today…... and instead, I am remembering how many birthday and valentines cards she tore up in my face, how many valentines flowers and candies that " were stupid ", and how many time she hit me , kicked me, cut up my clothes and purposely set my dogs loose and told me she " hoped they got hit by a car "... .and yeah, and all the ridiculous cop calls and lies to friends and neighbors... .…….I still feel I should touch base and let her know I care... .but …... .really whoever the new man is... " better him than me "... .shes an idiot and nothing will change that... so I'm trying to keep it all in perspective and just fade away... .still hurts... .

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Sandb2015]

Hey dumpsterdog,

You’re angry and you have every right to be.  I’m new but not “green” by any means.  You want her to feel YOUR pain.

It’s not happening and you’re hurting yourself. Sorry to be so blunt.

Get angry alone and don’t include her, it’s lost until you figure out how to process what you are feeling, what you truly want and how to do it.

I’ve done that and it caused misery for me and didn’t change anything.

You’ll find many things here. One in particular was, “learn to stop making it worse”.

Be angry, we’ve all been there and go back again.

You’re the one with the keys, learn which key fits what lock.

[dumpsterdog]

point taken thanks

[Skip]

I still feel I should touch base and let her know I care... .but... .really whoever the new man is... ." better him than me "... .shes an idiot and nothing will change that... .so I'm trying to keep it all in perspective and just fade away... .still hurts... .

Spend some time here, 'dog. You've got friends here.

To me, no matter how much you care about them, we have to grasp that when another man has entered the picture, the relationship we remember is gone. Its a very difficult thing when our partner is in a new chapter of life and we are still living in the old one.  Been there, too. This stuff hurts like hell.

Even if you want to contact her and decide that is the right thing to do, contacting her on Valentine's day would have been the wrong day to do it.

Hang in there.