Do they ever return

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I know most of the comments with be to run and never look back. But I’m just wondering if people have had experiences with their exBPD contacting them after their exBPD has been in a new relationship? Does this happen often?

[Nash]

I know most of the comments with be to run and never look back. But I’m just wondering if people have had experiences with their exBPD contacting them after their exBPD has been in a new relationship? Does this happen often?

[crushedagain]

From reading around here it seems to happen quite often, as BPDers are big relationship recyclers. In my situation, however, I never heard from her again. It's been close to 1 1/2 years. I doubt I ever will.

[once removed]

are you wanting to reconcile the relationship?

[Nash]

I’m honestly not sure. I don’t know if it’s wanting what I can’t have. Or the fact that he moved on within 10 days. He reached out to me once back in January and that didn’t go well. But I was just wondering if it happens after they’ve been in a new relationship

[once removed]

if you want to reconcile the relationship, it would do you well to move to the Bettering/Reversing board, and learn the tools.

there isnt a specific answer to the question youre asking. it applies to millions of people.

over 60% of relationships (all) recycle. there are general, common reasons that are sometimes involved when it comes to members here, and their ex partners that are discussed here: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=95860.0     

as it applies to your specific relationship, past history might be a good indicator. you know him best. do you think its likely youll hear from him? 

[Vexed]

I know most of the comments with be to run and never look back. But I’m just wondering if people have had experiences with their exBPD contacting them after their exBPD has been in a new relationship? Does this happen often?

As Once Removed has said I don't know that's there is any rule on this.  But after having watched a BPD manifest and grow over 16 years and 6+ years of experience with a BPD SO, multiple recycles, reading others experiences, and my own studying of the disease... I think they will from time to time check in on their exes and by this I mean through various means but not through direct contact necessarily. 

Now I've noticed that if they do make contact it's typically when the ex is doing really well ie) having fun, progressing in career, stable, etc

So the one positive in a BPD breakup is that the only and best thing to do no matter what your situation is, is to move on as best you can. Know that whether or not you want to get her back the best way to do either is to better yourself. 

All of my recycles came when I was on the up and up.  They need that life, that vigor in you so they can drain and suck you dry.  If your already lifeless chances are much more unlikely.