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Things I couldn't have known
Emotional Blackmail: Fear, Obligation and Guilt (FOG)
Am I the Cause of Borderline Personality Disorder?
Escaping Conflict and the Karpman Drama Triangle
I think it's Borderline Personality Disorder, but how can I know?
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Author Topic: *New :), 18yo son was just dx'd two weeks ago  (Read 77 times)
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Person in your life: Child
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« on: March 15, 2019, 05:44:45 PM »


I just found this forum by searching randomly; it was linked from another group.

My newly minted 18yo son was just dx'd like two weeks ago with borderline personality disorder.

I have ZERO idea how to navigate this. I've barely started to scratch the surface of learning about it. I already have no room on my plate at all, and nearly no spoons left in a day.

What little I read already makes a lot of his behaviors make SO much more sense. He's already so contrary, so angry, so blamey and victim-y and everything is my fault Frustrated/Unfortunate (click to insert in post) He's had issues all his whole life, but this? Ye gods, I feel like it's relentless. Add teen hormones to that, and single parenting all his life, and, well...
On the Jekyll side, he's really sweet.
I have said for YEARS about him, he's black or white, no grey area at all.

How do I do this??
« Last Edit: March 15, 2019, 05:56:34 PM by Harri, Reason: changed title according to guideline 1.5 » Logged
Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
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« Reply #1 on: March 15, 2019, 09:43:15 PM »

I'm so sorry about your son's diagnosis.  They usually wait until someone is 18 before giving the diagnosis of BPD.  One way to look at it is that it really isn't something new.  His collective behaviors just have a new label.

Usually people with BPD have mental health issues such as: depression, anxiety, bi-polar, ADD/ADHD and/or others.  When someone is over 18 and has enough BPD behaviors, they get the BPD label.  Some people may lack the number of BPD traits to gain the label, but they might be referred to as having BPD traits.

There is a lot of helpful information here and helpful people.  A good place to start exploring is to look at the green menu band at the top of the page and check out the "Diagnosis & Treatment" & "Tools" sections.

Sounds like you have a lot to handle as a single mother.  What is your biggest challenge with your son at the moment? 


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Person in your life: Child
Posts: 2208

« Reply #2 on: March 16, 2019, 08:13:57 AM »

Hello Maiasaura

I join No-One in welcoming you to the family, I'm glad you've reached out for support here, it is critical.

How do I do this??
Take your own gentle time, small steps, there is much to learn here that can help you and your situation. How has your son received the diagnosis, is there a treatment plan?

We've got you Maiasaura, we're walking with you Virtual hug (click to insert in post)


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