When I offer my opinion, he frequently snaps at me

[Newt101]

When my husband is trying to figure something out, I feel the need to give him my opinion/ advice, he seems to want my help or just wants me to be with him quietly while he works things out loud. But when I do offer my opinion he frequently snaps at me sometimes and says "I know that or obviously". He seems to take my advice as if I am being condescending to him, but that's not how I meant it. And then I end up feeling bad for bringing it up/or feel disregarded/disrespected. I don't know how much more I can take. I really want to fix things between us.

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[Harri]

Hi Newt.  That sounds confusing. 

How does the interaction go if you just sit quietly and validate rather than try to help?

Can you tell us more about his behaviors that make you suspect BPD?

Hope to hear more from you!

[Radcliff]

Let me join Harri in welcoming you!  You say sometimes he wants your help and sometimes he doesn't, he just wants your support.  Are you able to tell which is which before you say something, or is it only after you say something that you find out?

RC