The last month has been a nightmare with my BPD Son.

[Outathinair]

I really don't know how much more stress I can take. My 21 year old son was diagnosed clinically depressed, suicidal thoughts and BPD traits. He has been home since November, we had to medically withdraw him from college. He never leaves the house unless with me. I have been doing everything I can for him. He goes to therapy 2x a week and was placed on wellbutrin and paxil. On March 2nd I came home and I called up to him to come down for dinner. He didn't respond. I ran upstairs and found him unconscious face down on his floor. I turned him over and he was blue and not breathing. I thought he had killed himself. I screamed for help while doing CPR. My husband called 911 and after a few minutes he started to breathe but very laboured. His eyes were rolled back into his head and I was screaming his name. He started to vomit and I turned him on his side. I asked him what he took because I thought he had overdosed. When he responded his speech was completely slurred and he did not know where he was or what happened. When the paramedics arrived he got nasty yelling F YOU to them. I was beside myself. They did all kinds of tests in the hospital and they told us that he had a seizure from the wellbutrin. I didn't even know this was a side effect. I almost lost my son. Since then things have gotten worse. He got violent the other night screaming F YOU to my husband and getting in his face, all because the wifi wasn't working. He asked to go out with his friend and I said that would be fine but please do not take any pills. He went nuts screaming he hates us and throwing things against the wall. I had to ask him to leave the house because he was that out of control. He came home at 330 am apologizing and saying he didn't mean it. Every day is a roller coaster. I don't know what to do. We just switched his medication after having a DNA test done to see which meds would work for him. They put him on zoloft a few days ago and she plans to add an anticonvulsant in 10 days to help with the anger. The test also showed that paxil will not work for him so the last 4 months of meds have been a total waste. Is this how it is going to be? Him raging and controling the house and scaring myself and the other kids? I really don't want him living here if he is going to behave like that but he has nowhere to live and not a dollar to his name. What should I do? He is so angry all the time. His emotions change hourly. I feel like the devil has taken over my son. Any advice is appreciated. I'm so sad.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

I completely sympathize with your plight.  I have no answers, but I also had a 25 year old son out of control and busting up the house, can't keep a job, etc .
The difference here is at least for now your son is compliant with taking meds and seeking therapy.  I know that doesn't seem like much , but it is huge.  It will take a while for the hospital to titrate to the correct dosages for him with the correct meds. Until then day to day, hour to hour, if you ever feel like your life is in danger call 911 because safety trumps everything else.  If possible, you / the family should see your own separate therapist on how to deal with living with your son and establishing appropriate boundaries .  Read Walking on Eggshells , that has helped and the number one thing the book stresses is the best way to help your son is to help yourselves first.  I am so sorry you are going through this.  There are no quick, easy answers and this is a long road for all.  However, he isn't able to make boundaries for himself so you all must.   

[stampingt1]

Outathinair,

Unfortunately it takes time to find the correct medication & dosage. Of course it doesn't help that we/us are hanging on by a thread. Glad that you found him in time!

Our only child, son BPD 18 hasn't been having a rough go since Christmas break. He has only attended 10 days of school since break. Not sure that he will be able to graduate w/ his classmates. Not sure if I'm having more sadness than he is. It's so hard to see our children suffering so much & not being able to fix it. Our son has lots of anger, too. Doesn't matter if he had a perfectly fine day...a switch just flips then the meltdown starts. I, too, don't like how this has disrupted our home life.

Unfortunately, it's baby steps at this point. Hope things improve. Hugs!

[Mirsa]

Hi Stamping1,

So sorry to hear about what is going on lately with your son.  How traumatizing for you!   I am wondering what your son's teenage years were like?  Is this unusual behavior for him at age 21?

It took a while to find good meds for my duaghters...kudos for you for doing the genetic testing.  I also found increased anger to be a side effect of Wellbutrin, Lexapro, and a couple other SSRIs.  For what it's worth, one of my daughters has found relief with Anafranil (an old fashioned tricylic, bc SSRIs don't seem to help much, and with Latuda (a quick-acting anti-depressent, bc it may be an anti-psychotic).  I'm not totally sure about what the meds are, but figured I'd share with you those names.  It took about 3 years for me to feel that I had good meds for her that actually worked, and that is not even the DD with BPD!  I actually never found a med that worked well for her, sorry to say.   I think the anti-psychotics did help stabilize her moods.  I don't think the SSRI's ever did too much for her.  And, as you say, her emotional volitility was all over the place, and even when 'happy' that was/is still the case.  It's tiring!  Hope you can find ways to get a break...

[Outathinair]

Thanks so much. It's so strange because his teenage years were pretty okay aside from the normal stuff. He had a girlfriend at age 17 who broke up with him right when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. He took it really hard. Even as a little boy he was always so sensitive. Something that someone would say would wound him deeply, even if it wasn't meant to. I thought he would grow out of it but he never did. The last 2 years I would say is when we saw the change in him. He seems like a different kid now. It seems like when he went to college he completely fell apart. He can't take care of himself, is unable to be on time for class or work, and just generally has trouble with every day tasks. He spends 100% of his time now in his room. We had to medically withdraw him from school. He seems to be angry at the world. He never had outbursts with us before but when I questioned him about it he said he used to behave that way with friends and just controlled his anger around us. He said he doesn't care what we think of him anymore. It really is just so heartbreaking because we are the only ones who really love him. All of his friends abandoned him due to his behavior. I spend every day praying he doesn't take his life. I'm so sad.

[stampingt1]

Outathinair,

Our son BPD 18 also has trouble getting to school, etc on time & the same w/ every day tasks. Sometimes he leaves the milk out from breakfast & it has to be tossed!

Sounds like you would benefit from "you" time & counseling.

[stampingt1]

Mirsa,

I think that you are mixing up myself, Stampingt1 & Outathinair...

[Mirsa]

Hi,

the post was intended for Outatthinair , but I put Stamping1's name in the saluation.  Maybe bc you mentioned meds too...or maybe bc it was ten pm at night!  sorry about that!