Who do you tell?

[Depression = 72% of members]

I have been posting here and I have been slowly telling my therapist about my childhood, but my husband does not know what I experienced growing up.  I wonder if other people share with their significant others? 

It puts distance between us and when I am really low I feel like I can't be myself around him.  I went through terrible depression over the past few years and never told my spouse.  In the past I have tried to reach out but he just gets shocked and scared. 

Part of the attraction to him was his relatively normal upbringing but at the same time I feel like he can never understand.

[Zabava]

I have been posting here and I have been slowly telling my therapist about my childhood, but my husband does not know what I experienced growing up.  I wonder if other people share with their significant others? 

It puts distance between us and when I am really low I feel like I can't be myself around him.  I went through terrible depression over the past few years and never told my spouse.  In the past I have tried to reach out but he just gets shocked and scared. 

Part of the attraction to him was his relatively normal upbringing but at the same time I feel like he can never understand.

[Turkish]

I tried to tell my ex a few things,  but she's uBPD, so that didn't go well.

It must hurt to feel isolated... This might be something to trickle to him with an experienced counselor as a neutral voice. 

My friends knew,  but they knew me since I was a teen,  and they all came from dysfunctional families to varying degrees. 

[Zabava]

Turkish,

As a teenager I had very close friends with messed up families.  It was a very intense time and I made a lot of bad choices.  I acted out and was very self destructive. When I met my husband I felt very ashamed of my adolescent self and I buried the person I was.   

[Turkish]

I would surely encourage counselling with someone with whom you could bring your husband in at some point.  It doesn't have to be a be all tell all,  but a safe place to share.  It sounds like you've felt a lot of stress hiding things.  You're not alone here with members with spouses (from mostly functional families) from whom they've had trouble sharing.