Our 16 year-old Daughter is Failing Her Classes

[Mr. Dake]

Here's the update on our 16 year-old daughter: at the end of the marking period she is failing her classes.  So much so that I'm not sure that it will be possible to pass any of them this semester.  Her emotional distress is such that she's out of the classroom much of the time and not completing assignments.  Her three-year IEP meeting is tomorrow.  She is in a substantially separate, therapeutic classroom in the public school system.   The evaluation for her IEP renewal demonstrates the level of her emotional distress and difficulty with behavior.   Her intelligence is in the average range, which we've known isn't the concern.   Its feel impossible to know what will help her.  It also feels that the school is as at as much of a loss as we are.  It's hard for me to see any of the recommendations from the psychologist helping.   After attending a workshop for youth with disabilities attending college, her program was supportive when I expressed that I did not see her as being able to be successful at college or work without staying in the school's program from ages 18 -22.  I'll give an update following the IEP meeting tomorrow.   
             

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

Thanks for the update. Mr. Dake. It is hard to know what to do when nothing seems to be helping. That must be very frustrating. It sounds like your daughter does have support though. Her program supports her and so do you so there is hope. I will look forward to hearing more about the IEP meeting.

[Harri]

Hi Mr. Dake. 

I want to second what FaithHopeLove said about your daughter having a source of support from you.   

her program was supportive when I expressed that I did not see her as being able to be successful at college or work without staying in the school's program from ages 18 -22

It is good to hear they re supportive in this.  What a difficult thing to have to come to accept though.  what are your thoughts about it?

[Only Human]

Hi Mr. Dake

How'd the IEP meeting go today?

~ OH

[stampingt1]

Mr. Dake,

Sorry that she is failing her classes. Does she need an associate/para educator? Hope the IEP meeting went well.  Please keep us updated!

My DS 18 isn't been to school in 10 days due to anxiety & 1 day due to the flu. We are weighing our options. Think he will be upset not graduating w/ his classmates. However, he missed all of last school year due to these darn health issues. Been to 4 different hospitals in 3 states for his ailments, which are anxiety, depression, possible ibs w/ constipation, possible BPD or possible temporal lobe seizures. I am so ready for some REAL answers!

Stampingt1

[Mr. Dake]

I apologize for the late response.  Our daughter's IEP meeting went as well as possible.  She's in a supportive environment: the Sped Director, Principle, guidance counselor, teachers, and therapist are great.  The good news is that she has a chance to complete her Junior year by passing her classes this semester and attending summer school.  This has given her hope as she's worked in school since the meeting.   In response to a previous question, there is a para in her classroom, along with two teachers, and a therapist for seven students.     

Saturday is my one day off and we spent it at an outlet mall so that she could spend time with a friend from her social skills group.  Our daughter was happy, stated that we should do this more often, and I responded that we could as I was able to walk and read (my wife gave me a Fitbit for my birthday last week and I'm walking 10,000 - 12,000 steps a day).   

Also, we were going out to Moe's for dinner last evening with my older daughter and son-in-law.  Our younger daughter wanted to eat at Moe's and get frozen yogurt.  When I responded that we went out on Saturday, were going out to eat Sunday, and that I didn't want to pay for a dinner and for a separate dessert,  she angrily was going to not come.  She had no keys to get into the house  When she returned to the car, and I calmly said that I wanted to get to a win/win, she and my wife agreed to share a meal, so that we were purchasing 4 meals versus 5 and she got fro yo.  We had an enjoyable evening as a family and both her and my needs were met.   

So, I'm feeling encouraged on both the school and home fronts.

 

[FaithHopeLove]

I am so glad things are going well. You are doing a great job.

[Mirsa]

Sounds like all good steps.  One day at a time.  And yes, cases like your daughter's are a challenge for schools, even with the IEP and a good team.  There's no easy answers and no quick fixes with children like these.  So glad you feel the school is supportive.  That's a big help. 

[stampingt1]

Mr. Dake,

Glad that DD has a chance of passing her junior year & it sounds like she has lots of support at school.

Stampingt1