I am struggling to cope with my twin sister and how she treats me.
Our relationship is becoming increasingly strained and toxic, mostly because she has borderline personality disorder.
My mum told me that my twin sister had told her on Wednesday that a girl I went to school with saw me & my boyfriend at the bus stop on Tuesday.
I saw her but didn't say anything because she was getting on a bus and we were never in the same circle of friends at school, even though we are friends on Facebook.
Apparently, this girl took a photo of us and sent it to my twin.
A bit of background here: My boyfriend did not tell me he had not broken up with his previous girlfriend before starting a relationship with me.
We broke up when I found out, but he explained the reason why he didn't was because he felt guilty because his previous girlfriend found out she had MS, so even though he didn't want to be in the relationship any more, he felt conflicted and couldn't end the relationship while she was so fragile.
Anyway, we broke up, but worked through the issues we had and got back together.
My sister has decided she hates my boyfriend, because of what he did. Which is sweet in a sisterly way I suppose, but she acts like everything that happened between my boyfriend and I actually happened to her.
So while she disagrees with me giving him another chance, and calls me names like "f*cking idiot" and "stupid" and all manner of swear words to degrade me, she is completely aware that we are together, because I have told her, although I do not divulge any of our relationship with her.
Anyway. My mum said as my sister was relaying this story to her, my twin seemed jolly and jokey. And mum used the phrase that I had been "caught out". Which infuriated me because I have done nothing wrong.
I feel so violated because
1. Why the f*ck is this girl taking photos of me and sending them to my sister instead of saying hello? Or doing nothing?
2. I know that means my sister has been telling this girl (whom I haven't seen since I was 18! And didn't mix with at school) about my personal & private life. i.e about my boyfriend not breaking up with his previous girlfriend.
I am so angry with her and my mum is telling me I shouldn't be because I don't know the full story. As I far as I can see, there can only be one story.
I just feel sick because I KNOW that she has been talking about private matters of my intimate relationship to an almost complete stranger who I feel is reporting back to her.
I feel so paranoid and crazy but I can't help it.
We have had massive rows over her breaking my confidence before as she has discussed the reason for our breakup with work friends and other people we used to work withm but that I didn't know personally. (We - very stupidly, in hindsight - used to work together)
My mum is making me feel like the problems in my relationship with my twin are my fault because I don't stand up to her.
I called my mum out to say it's actually
her fault because she even said she has always noticed how different I act around/with twin but, I said to her, she doesn't get involved, she doesn't parent! She never has!
She didn't say anything to that. Which just made me even more upset.
Just that I need to stand up to her. That I want to please her all the time but when she isn't around then I act like I hate her. Which I do. I love her but I hate her at the same time.
I feel helpless. And I feel hopeless. Because I feel like she will never stop trying to control me or never stop stamping over my boundaries. She will never stop telling any Tom, Dick & Harry about my private life when I have told her how much it upsets me.
She will never respect me.
Do I have a right to feel as angry as I do? Or is my mum right and I am overreacting?
I am not sure how to confront her over these latest breech in my trust and she is so unpredictable I have no idea how she will react.
In all honesty, I have been just thinking all weekend about, not suicide, I don't want to kill myself, but I just wish I could just not be here anymore because this is just so hard.
My parents do nothing to learn more about BPD and I feel like they don't care about any of us.
Other than no contact...how do I resolve this?
