How to get our beloved children to consider therapy

[FaithHopeLove]

My DS24XBPD will not go to therapy for a number of reasons but I think the main one is his paranoia. His x gf of 8 years broke up with him when she started therapy so he blames the therapy
 He sees himself as a victim of a global plot and feels "the organization" would tape his meetings with any therapist and use it against him. The conversation bgoes around and around in circles. I need to change my approach. How would you handle it? How can I encourage my son to get the help he needs? Or can I?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Hi FHLKC

I wish I had an answer for you. Does your DS acknowledge he's struggling, not feeling well aside from his delusional thoughts? eg anxiety, panic attacks ….. how is he these days, are there a lot of up and down times he's trying to manage?

WDx

[FaithHopeLove]

Thanks Wendy. He acknowledges he is struggling and is miserable. There are lots of ups and downs but depression is pretty constant. Overdoing the cannabis isn't helping either.

[Elizabeth22]

FaithHopeLove,

I am sure the cannabis consumption is not helping, and forgive me if this had already been discussed, but is it possible he is schizophrenic? Is involuntary commitment an option? I know it sounds drastic, but what I am thinking is he would not be allowed cannabis there, so maybe it would clear his head and also permit examination for further diagnosis. I'm sorry I don't have a better idea.

[FaithHopeLove]

My son was briefly admitted to the hospital involuntarily last fall due to self harm. That us when he was diagnosed BPD. I do not think he is schizophrenic also. I also doubt he can be involuntarily committed now nor do I think that is the way to go at this point.

[twocrazycats]

If he's talking about people who are out to get him, maybe suggest a therapist could help him deal with those people? If he brings up the ex gf's therapist, maybe mention that there are all kinds of therapists, some good, some not so good, and that maybe her therapist wasn't very good? And remind him that he gets to decide if he believes his therapist is helpful for him or not, because he will be the one who decides to keep going or not.

And maybe this is really crazy, but if he says that organizations are going to record the conversations and use them against him, tell him that therapists take patients' privacy very seriously and know how to prevent that sort of thing from happening.

Just throwing a few ideas out there... Hope he at least gives it a try.

[wendydarling]

Hi Faith

I just read your other thread the paranoia came on since the gun hold ups. His anxiety and fear are sky high. The depression is constant. Might DS consider medication to reduce his suffering? I ask as it helped my DD. 

I see where you're coming from twocrazycats.

WDx

[FaithHopeLove]

Hi Crazy Cats
We told him all those things to no avail. He is convinced "they" are all powerful. The only hope I have is my son does have faith in God and believes God can help him. So for now I am focusing on the spiritual aspects of his journey and how important community is to spiritual growth.

[FaithHopeLove]

Hi Wendy

He is as dead set against (prescribed) meds as he is against therapy. When we bring up the subject he rants against "big pharmacy." The irony is, as a social justice activist myself I actually agree with a lot of what my son says. There are people in this world who do great evil. People with money and power often do use it in bad ways. So I am able to validate a lot of what he says while his father and I gently steer him toward looking at the goodness in this world as well. I still pray he will accept some kind of appropriate help some day.

[wendydarling]

Hi Faith

I understand, DD did not wish to take meds, a friend and I did do some research to see if we could find someone specialised in treating homoeopathically and got nowhere - zilch. I also  came to the conclusion DD's dx was mega complex. I'm glad your DS has his faith and you and his father steering him gently and helping him see there is also goodness and kindness  in the world, along his spiritual journey. You are doing a great job supporting your son, I know it's not easy, small gentle steps and yes there is hope with your loving guidance he'll reach out.

WDx

[FaithHopeLove]

Thanks for the encouragement, WendyDarling

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders