Despite multiple bail outs and attempts at making plans to improve the business, my efforts continue to be fruitless.
My parents were in a similar situation, except mom switched businesses like it was breakfast cereal. It strained the relationship right up to divorce (though it was not the only factor just fyi, dad is possibly/likely BPD).
Anyway, things improved tremendously when they separated and my dad stopped paying for the failing businesses. Mom had to work through things, and she ended up getting a job instead.
Now, its not the same situation, but you're playing a losing game pouring money down a bad business. That's just economics. on the personal side, you're letting money drag your relationship down with it, also not good.
I am hoping there is some advice for how we can find some more common ground about the pros and cons of continuing/stopping the business and/or how to get actionable results
I cannot tell you what to do, and this is not advice. What I would do is just restate things: You want your business, that's fine, it is YOUR business. I have the family taken care of, I'm sure you will do your best.
She typically refuses and/or threatens to divorce me if I make her do it (I am very concerned of the fallout on me and the kids if I cancel the business)
Compare that to the fallout of still pouring money into it and still having to "cancel" it due to not having any more money to pour, plus the extended emotional strain.
ok I'm most definitely biased here, it worked out "better" for our family to just let those failing businesses crumble under their own weight, parents divorce and all.
Hopefully someone else can come along and share a more "personal/relationship oriented" look at your situation.