How much is the physical pain worsened by emotional pain?

[isilme]

So, good news kinda so far about me - I am 3 weeks into my treatment and I am feeling not great, but better than I did.  I even had a cold this week (I think, hard to tell with me when it's a cold or an "allergic" reaction).  I felt terrible Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, but today I feel like I am actually on the mend from that.  I see my doc in June, and he will let me know if I am ready to taper down some of the meds or if it's best to stay on the high doses for now.  I have more energy than I did (anything is more than zero) and for the most part and sleeping better, less brain fog.

H, on the other hand, is not over the "cold", he is simmering in anger at being sick, at missing work, at "failing" at life, at not being respected.  I can't do anything to "fix" his emotions, I know.  And the seriously bring me down, make me tense, which is the last thing I need right now - MCAS can be triggered by stress, kinda need that dialed back. 

And it makes a feedback loop, of him feeling bad, it making his emotions swirl down, makes him feel worse, etc.  I guess there is no way to know how much he is actually in pain, and how much is his emotions being upset at being in pain making it all seem so much worse. 

I just know that I have been functioning in such a diminished capacity, striving so hard to just get to work and back, to run errands, keep the house, take care of the pets, all of that, and he struggles to just get to work.  Is it the BPD?  Is he really in that much worse shape?  Am I "stronger" as far as making myself go to work or clean house when I feel terrible, but leaving it dirty or gross makes me feel worse?  I am working to accept my limitations, have been hiring a man to do the lawn service, have been avoiding trips to the store if not needed, have been trying to get to bed at a "good" time, managed to cook homemade meals most nights which seem to suit us better than take out, and I am making a point to go to the knitting club even though his mood seems pretty bad when I get home. 

I WISH he had a "knitting" club or somewhere he liked to go spend time.  He has managed to isolate himself and I struggle to get him out of his shell but honestly, I am still very tired easily and want to take some time to rest. 

I am just rambling, still tired from being sick earlier in the week, from excess inflammation in my body.  I don't know how much is "man-flu" and how much is real.  I assume it's real, but when I am home sick I sleep, read, or stare at the tv since that's all I can do, maybe play an odd game where losing your attention span is okay.  He insists on trying to do crafts, play video games (I know these can be relaxing to some but they make him mad). 

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[isilme]

Well, his fever may have broken today.  Scared us both, his body treated it like an extreme drop in glucose, but he's been running so high lately that even a drop means he's still high.  I know stress, depression, and the fever, as well as chronic pain,  can make the sugar read higher.  I just don't know how to encourage him to exercise to bring it down when he feels so poorly or says he feels so poorly. 

On a plus side, I think he is finally accepting I have my own issues to work on, and need him to understand that I've had an immune disorder for a while and we just barely caught it.  He seems to be getting around to the idea that a lot of the new intolerances on my skin, the new sensitivities are part of the Mast Cell Activation Disorder, and not me being a big meanie.  He started asking about his aftershaves, and if things were irritating my skin or making me react.  That's a BIG thing.

I am looking now at what foods I need to avoid as they are high histamine, and seeing if some overlap so I can just keep us both healthier and not buy them.  Sad, chocolate is high histamine AND high oxalate, and bad for glucose.  Tomatoes are supposed to be bad for me, too, and eggs  Going to have to try an elimination diet somehow and see what actually affects me.  Supposedly, if I can get my internal inflammation down, my body might decide it can lose weight finally. 

[itsmeSnap]

I read somewhere that emotional pain is processed in similar brain regions, so its not out of the realm of possibility. As to "how much", I guess every person is affected differently?

Here's an article that describes that: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/body-sense/201204/emotional-and-physical-pain-activate-similar-brain-regions

Mast Cell Activation Disorder

MCAS is still a poorly understood condition and is a current topic of research
[...]
The condition may be mild until exacerbated by stressful life events

welp, that's one short straw you drew there isilme, best wishes to your managing it 

[isilme]

I hate to subscribe to gender stereotypes, but sometimes it seems like for him at least there really is a "man-cold".  Like we can have the same thing, both be running fevers, coughing, exhausted... and yet I am the one who usually will cook or clean or go pick up food.  I make it to work feeling ill more often, and I've just assumed he feels that much worse.  And he might.  But I do think the BPD is a factor in how bad he feels.  I think it's a feedback loop, his emotions making him more susceptible to catching things which then make his emotions nose dive which in turn makes it harder to recover...

As for the MCAS, I think it's good to finally have some sort of name, even if it's a weird thing to have.  Like, I am potentially allergic to the point of anaphylaxis to nothing and everything at all times.  But as far as it affecting my body, so far I am nowhere near the worst off, people who can't stand food and throw up every meal because their GI tract is allergic to all food.  I am just bodily inflamed most of the time, making me exhausted, dead tired, and it's caused or brought out asthma, making it hard to breathe at times.  The treatment is helping.  I am still easily tired, but we made it through a very hectic weekend and I was able to get a lot dine. I took breaks but I got a lot done.  Not as much as I would have even a year ago, but better than 4 months ago.

Also, he has caught another cold, and I am catching it, but the meds I am on seem to be keeping my severity down, even more than just the normal differences in how we deal to being ill.  Heading to after hours doc in a few minutes.  We are still having people come down with the flu down here, it's been so bad this spring.