I’m being set up for circular arguments

[Tattered Heart]

It’s been a rough 3 days. A month of pleasant behavior and I was just starting to feel comfortable around my H and smiling.

Yesterday he began yelling at me out in the yard because he says he asked me to help him with something. I honestly think he thought it in his head because i did not hear him say anything. Then I told him I couldn’t lift something heavy. He told me i was giving up before trying. I tried to lift the heavy thing and something in my calf popped. I could not lift the heavy thing. He screamed at me for not putting in enough effort.

Last night he starts this conversation:
H: I can make tuna Mac or we can snack for dinner
Me: whichever you want. I’m not super hungry so I’m ok with either.
H: I’ll make tuna Mac. Will you eat some?
Me: yes
H: (snaps at me) You just want to make me cook!
Me:
H:
Me: if you don’t want to cook we can snack. I’ll make popcorn. Would you like popcorn?
H: I’ll make tuna Mac
Conversation ends.

Today’s he’s been a monster. We had to drive to KS and roads everywhere are flooded. I lost GPS signal. He gets a work call and drives right through a blocked road barrier while talking on the phone—twice with the exact scenario. I tell him to pull over so I can look out road options. He starts screaming at me that I’m not trying to help him and he has to do everything on his own. I had offered to drive so he can take calls. He threatened to hit me if I criticized him again and told me he was harnessing the power of his god Lucifer. I told him not to threaten me. He responded that he wouldn’t hit me in the face but it would just be a slap in the arm like in training a dog.

I just don’t even know what to try to validate. He’s being irradic and not making sense in his anger. I’m feeling pretty dejected. I bet to cry in short quiet bursts in the bathroom or in the car by myself.

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[Noobie]

I'm in much the same boat with my partner. She tells me how much she loves me and wants us to be one big happy family, but it seems like every other day there's putdowns, attempts to start arguments that I get criticized for whether or not I take part in them, raging, throwing things, threats, road rage and in general chaos. I am lost and don't know how to make things any better.

[flourdust]

Threats of violence are never OK. I'm glad you pushed back on that, even if his answers were nonsensical.

Is there anything going on that might have led to this change in behavior? Some outside stressor, health changes, financial problems?