12 year old girl with possible BPD

[Macy]

Hi,

My daughter is suspected to have BPD, she is 12 years old and has  previously been diagnosed complex trauma and most recently NSSHD and Suicidiality. I am wondering if it is possible to diagnose so young, also they have said a definite no to any medication as it will increase the risk of Suicide and she is currently a moderate risk. Would love to hear others experiences with this age group, and moving on from that how the hell do you cope at home>?. tia

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

Hi Macy
I am glad to meet you and sorry for what brought you here. You are in the right place for help and support. I am glad you joined us. To answer your questions, yes 12 is usually considered too young for a diagnosis of a personality disorder but the traits of BPD can certainly be seen at that age. What exactly does your daughter do that makes you suspect she has or is developing BPD? How can we best help you today?

[Macy]

self harm, suicide attempts,starving herself, no distress or stress tolerance, mood issues, depression, anxiety, risky behaviour, suicidal thoughts.
 I feel like I am walking on eggshells, too scared to do or say anything that will trigger an episode of self harm or an over the top emotional outburst.

[FaithHopeLove]

Yes those behaviors could indicate BPD. Whatever the ultimate diagnosis you can improve your relationship with your daughter by learning new skills. You describe your situation as many do - walking on eggshells. I wonder if you have seen this book. Stop Walking On Eggshells

[Macy]

No I haven’t seen that but the reference is so true. I just bought a book BPD in adolescence so I am hoping that’s a good read and a place to start. However I am a bit confused as I know teenagers go Through a lot of issues generally so it’s hard to know what’s mental illness and what’s hormonal
Teenage stuff. We have come from a domestic violence background so given we have that kind of background and what my daughter has been exposed to at a young age BPD seems to fit the profile.

[livednlearned]

I just bought a book BPD in adolescence so I am hoping that’s a good read and a place to start. However I am a bit confused as I know teenagers go Through a lot of issues generally so it’s hard to know what’s mental illness and what’s hormonal

Is the book by Blaise Aguirre? If so, it's an excellent book. He has a section on how to distinguish between BPD behaviors and regular adolescence. And he is also a proponent for diagnosing in adolescence, under the right conditions. There are also some good youtube videos featuring Aguirre and his work.

I also highly recommend Loving Someone with BPD by Shari Manning if you can squeeze in yet another book.

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