Dreams and processing

[Zabava]

Having crazy bad dreams lately.  Last night I dreamed about mums turning into monsters.  I have been screaming at people in my dreams (and apparently out loud according to my husband).  I wake up tired but strangely lighter.  I think I may be processing in my sleep.  Does anyone else have nightmares as they confront the past?

[Harri]

Oh yes, count me in!    

I am not making light of this but (!) I see this as good news especially that you feel lighter when you wake up.

It is tough though if you are not sleeping well.  I swear I wake up exhausted from having a boxing match with my sheets.   Usually I win the fight though!

So what sort of things are you yelling?

[Zabava]

No words just screaming in fear or in a rage.  I have been having very vivid dreams lately about being in my childhood home and yelling at my mother.  I also dream about being in a submarine or a boat underwater and I can't breathe.  What isvthat about?  My most recent dream was about innocuous mom figures who suddenly turned into murderous monsters if you looked them in the eyes. 

I see the humour,  but I also think I may have been reexperiencing the terror I felt as a kid...or I'm loopy, equally possible

[Woolspinner2000]

Hi Zabava, 

Yes, I too have had dreams. They are better now and less intense then in those first years of starting to work on my childhood from having a uBPDm. The nightmares helped to push me into T. Boy some of those dreams...I'd wake up and sit up straight, heart pounding from the intensity and fear. I'd have to remind myself over and over sometimes that they weren't real.

Eventually the dreams began to change, especially as I began to change. The empowerment started to show in my dreams, and it sounds like that may be something like what is happening to you now.

Like Harri, I think I am fighting my sheets now or something other than my childhood. Perhaps it is things from other parts of my life that I am dreaming about now. I usually wake with very tight hurting muscles, so I know I am still fighting some battle. Someday I hope that my sleep and yours become more restful!

 
Wools

[Zabava]

Thanks Libra

I think dreams are so important.  In addition to dreaming about my mum, I have been having recurring dreams about leaving luggage or possessions behind...letting go of the past? 

I'm curious, did you have intense dreams about your childhood?   I have dreams about my father that make so sad.  He died 18 years ago but I've never processed his passing except in dreams.

[genevieve90]

Oh my gosh YES. I've been experiencing this exact same thing recently. I'm trying so hard to cope with my BPD sister's behaviour it keeps coming out in my sleep.

Recently I've woken myself up crying because I was dreaming about my Dad and Step Mum (who are involved with enabling her at the moment), I've dreamt about my sister dying and I've dreamt about her stealing from me and hurting me.

I also had my first ever night terror where apparently I was flailing my arms around like I was fighting someone and making weird noises. All I remember is feeling really scared and waking up shouting. I've also had a lot of sleep paralysis which I know is stress related.

Guess you can't fool your brain! Even if you don't want to process something awake, you'll be made to process it in your sleep.