Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
November 13, 2024, 11:16:56 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Experts share their discoveries [video]
99
Could it be BPD
BPDFamily.com Production
Listening to shame
Brené Brown, PhD
What is BPD?
Blasé Aguirre, MD
What BPD recovery looks like
Documentary
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Part 2: What I wanted for so long; now that I have it, I am not so interested  (Read 420 times)
AskingWhy
*******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 1025



« on: June 05, 2019, 11:49:07 PM »

Mod note:  this thread is a continuation of      https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=336911.0;all

Thank you, all of your, for your posts.  Notwendy, Enabler, once removed, Cat and Red.  I appreciate the long, thoughtful posts.

Red, your long post made a lot of sense to me.  Being with a BPD means having to accept the reality of their reality.  I try now to "set the example" by not responding to the dysregulations of my H.  In the past, I would be reduced to utterly devastating tears, or I would rage back.

I am slowly approaching the mindset of Frankee in my dealings with my uBPD H.  

I am so tired of accepting the abuse as part of his illness.  I am fed up with making excuses for my H's projected anger at me, name-calling, withholding affection, silent treatment and all the rest.  Earlier this week, H trashed the kitchen when I wasn't making dinner fast enough for his liking.  He name called, of course.   Food and beverages and broken glass all over the kitchen floor when H slammed the refrigerator door several times like a crazed lunatic.  Of course, I did not help him clean up (I made sure the pets were in a safe place) but he never apologised for his tantrum.  In a way, he blamed me for my laziness and inaction.  (I am depressed but seeing a T for this.)

https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/the-mind-trip-that-is-emotional-abuse#.WR7zD1dWjjI

While I may not be, at this point, taking the legal route out, I am mentally leaving the R/S.  I am training myself not to care about H anymore.  How much time he spends with his children (camping trips with S; going out with his Ds; spending an insane amount of money on gifts, etc.) with no longer be a concern of mine.  All of his children are in the NPD/BPD spectrum and they are always in some crisis for H to come to the rescue to fix.  (S is on drugs and mostly homeless; one D emotionally abuses her H; one D is a drug abuser, likely BPD.)





« Last Edit: June 06, 2019, 12:49:02 AM by Harri » Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!