BPD son arrested. No surprise

[Parents! Get help here!]

hello bpdfamily
Today the inevitable happened. DS25 got arrested. He had a car registered in my husband's name (I posted about this earlier). After too many accidents, H went to Ds's apartment to take the car away. Of course DS got angry. Then he drove the car here and said he was leaving it here. He just had to take his gun out of it first. Then he went to his car and came back with something, pretty sure it was a gun, bulging in his pocket. Then he stood in the living room and said he was going to blow his brains out in front of me. Then he went in to his pocket and started to take the gun out. So I ran upstairs and called 911. By the time the police arrived DS had left, but they found him close by and arrested him. Now he is in the psych ward of the hospital. If and when he is released from there he goes to central booking where he will be processed for Criminal Possession of a Weapon and Menacing. I am still shaken up by the incident but I also feel like he is probably safer in the hospital or the lockup than he is on the street. My hope is this is him hitting bottom. Maybe things will get better now. Thanks for being there for me. Fortunately I also have a T appt. today.

[FaithHopeLove]

hello bpdfamily
Today the inevitable happened. DS25 got arrested. He had a car registered in my husband's name (I posted about this earlier). After too many accidents, H went to Ds's apartment to take the car away. Of course DS got angry. Then he drove the car here and said he was leaving it here. He just had to take his gun out of it first. Then he went to his car and came back with something, pretty sure it was a gun, bulging in his pocket. Then he stood in the living room and said he was going to blow his brains out in front of me. Then he went in to his pocket and started to take the gun out. So I ran upstairs and called 911. By the time the police arrived DS had left, but they found him close by and arrested him. Now he is in the psych ward of the hospital. If and when he is released from there he goes to central booking where he will be processed for Criminal Possession of a Weapon and Menacing. I am still shaken up by the incident but I also feel like he is probably safer in the hospital or the lockup than he is on the street. My hope is this is him hitting bottom. Maybe things will get better now. Thanks for being there for me. Fortunately I also have a T appt. today.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[PeaceMom]

Faith,
It seems you knew intuitively that the center could not hold. I’m so sorry, it appeared from your recent posts things had been escalating rapidly.
I’m so thankful that you are all safe right now. Things can get better and there will likely be a specific aftercare transition plan.
His hospital case worker/social worker must be made to do his/her job and come up with a viable, therapeutic option. Maybe a transfer to a Residential treatment Facility for Dual diagnosis. Please exhale if you can and share here for support.
Peacemom

[livednlearned]

Today the inevitable happened ... Maybe things will get better now.

I hope you can feel your  bpdfamily friends walking with you, FaithHopeLove. Quiet footsteps, lots of footprints.

You did the right thing to call 911. That had to be tough for you, knowing DS does not do well with law enforcement.

 

[FaithHopeLove]

Update: DS was released with no charges filed. He is still raging.

[GaGrl]

Then you might need the protective order. Love and hugs to you...

[FaithHopeLove]

We changed the locks
 DS stopped by to get his apartment key and H drove him home (enabling?) Since he never saw a judge I would have to go to family court for an order of protection
 I haven't decided if I want to go that route. It might make things worse

[stampingt1]

FHLKC,

So sorry that things came to this & that DS was released w/o any charges filed.

I will be praying for your family!

Stampingt1

P.S. Hope that seeing your T today helped!

[Lollypop]

Hi Faith

This may be a turning point for you all Faith. I’m so glad you see your T today and hopefully this may bring your level of anxieties down some. I’m glad your H drove your son home, despite raging and I don’t think a loving practical gesture is enabling.

I hope you and your H can support one another through what’s been a dark traumatic day. You’ll work it through, one very gentle step at a time. Trying to untangle the emotions and pull them away from what you know is the truth - the truth is clearer to understand and is something you can place your feet on.

Hugs 

Actually I’m sending one for H as well.   

Take good care of each other.

LP

[FaithHopeLove]

Thank you all for your love and support. Now that my adrenaline is down it is all hitting me like a ton of bricks. DS and I had a little bit of a convo yesterday after he was released from central booking. On the one hand he was furious I called 911 but he also admitted that if I had not he would have suicided. I already suffered from PTSD due to some things I witnessed as a cop including numerous suicides and homicides. Now it is 10 times worse.

[Kwamina]

Hi FaithHopeLove

Dealing with suicidal behaviors from family-members is very difficult. Even when they don't make an actual attempt, hearing them talk this way can already be quite triggering, especially considering your past experiences and your PTSD. How are you doing now?

I am glad you were able to talk to your son. He might be furious about you calling 911, but I definitely believe you did the right thing. It's so hard dealing with suicidal family-members and we really need the support of external professionals then to help us and help them. It is clear your son needs help and I hope this event might somehow serve as a catalyst to get him the help he needs to make a lasting positive change in his life

The Board Parrot

[FaithHopeLove]

Thanks
 Now that my adrenaline level is back down it is all sinking in and it is not good.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Kwamina]

Yeah this really is a lot to have to let sink in. His behavior is very difficult indeed and I know from one of your recent threads how much you struggle with the person he has become. He is your son and you still love him, but the way he behaves is clearly taking its toll on you.