Push pull - cycling in a matter of seconds - is this usual?

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

How are things going today? Any fallout from seeing the kids?

Enabler

[Enabler]

How are things going today? Any fallout from seeing the kids?

Enabler

[Oxo]

Hi  no but not sure if she is aware. We supposed to have been going to a show all together Friday but W has invited sister instead. But I wouldn't want to go but guess I have been elbowed out.  But as I get more proactive guess it will change. Today has been spent on with the bank as they cocked up and did not freeze the account properly but that's all sorted and bought a washing machine. She's also continued to message more people latest the wife of my ex boss from 1982 ! And at least one has barred her as he's fed up with the deluge of messages. I run a little show which I was very proud of developing but apart from W coming and and taking the main prop from this house when I was out she has insisted she's going with her family this weekend to an event I was booked at . Talking through with a good friend I've cancelled - just don't want to risk being ambushed or more stuff being taken. At the moment still feel on the back foot but slowly I'm trying to take control of my life dispite the constant attacks . Draining the bank account and demanding I pay the bills from savings - the bank has clearly identified who is the victim dispite my W messaging people it was me. I still find it difficult to grasp how much she wants to distroy me . But I have to accept the reality.

[Enabler]

She wants to destroy you until it’s evident that you are suffering as much as she is... because she cannot accept my responsibility for her own suffering and ‘feels’ that you are the cause of it... therefore she feels utterly justified in her actions.

It’s good that people are informing you that they have been contacted, and testament to your character that they don’t believe what she is telling them. You’re one of the lucky ones as she’s obviously pretty terrible at convincing people... some (myself) aren’t so lucky. I know that’s not wholesale across your friends.

You’re doing well at not playing the game. It is important I think that you plan something else for the weekend, something she doesn’t know about so you maintain the perception of control over you. Although you don’t want to intentionally infuriate her, you do want to stand tall and show her you’re not going to be bullied. Stand tall, head high, your games are no good here sweetheart.

Do you have any other sources of funds that aren’t secure? Do you have any savings in your own name? What % of the pool do they make up? I’m trying to gauge whether or not she is now in possession of the lions share of the savings, she can clearly do whatever she likes with the funds she has withdrawn.

Enabler

[Oxo]

No I've seperated all the savings half an half . Her actions to clear the general account was in retaliation to seperating the final small building society account. In some way it is clear and black and white. And clear evidence of how she is treating me and at the same time making  accusations to the contrary. Not sure what I'll do this weekend but the organisers have already asked me back next year and a joint friend of ours   have booked me for a statley home event in a couple of weeks so things to rebuild. Guess today she seems to have hooked herself into an old colleague of hers some one who she has rarely seen for decades but who's husband had been diagnosed with serious cancer. The last thing this lady needs is my superficially well-meaning W. She put a Facebook message up and it felt so nauseating of "care and inspiration" along with a photo of their wedding as I said they hardly ever meet   - it really is nauseating at a time this woman is so obviously vulnerable and emotional.

[once removed]

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