Realization

[Ihaveacrazymom]

Hi there,

I am a 40 yr old mother of 2. I have a happy family life, only, I have a mom with (I have just realized) undiagnosed BPD. I grew up in fear and dysfunction. My mom also has self medicated with alcohol and meth for years. I have struggled with trust, connecting with others, self worth, and a general feeling of safety for years. It has gotten better since I stopped talking to my mom completely about 6 years ago. She still tries to contact me through my husband. It is like having someone that you know is continually festering and brooding, sending you awful wishes from afar. She quite literally sits around actively hating me and replaying all of the things she accuses me of in her mind every day. She jumps on every opportunity to remind me of these things, hoping to make me as miserable as she is. When I realized what her disorder is, I felt hope. Hope in the knowledge that others might be out there who understand. Hope for healing from this awful situation that appears will never end until she dies, which is a really awful truth. 
I would love to hear your story.. struggles.. triumphs

[GaGrl]

Welcome! We are glad you are here, even though the reason is not positive. There are many stories here, and this is a place where we share help and support.

I am on the forum because I married a man whose ex is undiagnosed BPD and NPD. However, my mother (and the rest of my family) was very much affected by my stepmother, who was uBPD/NPD. Others are on this board because of more I giants experiences with a mother or father or sibling.

What are you being affected by right now? What is your ongoing concern?

[RavenWatcher]

Hello ihacm, and welcome. I am relatively new here myself.

My story is a late 30s, single man with a undiagnosed BPD mother. I am in occasional contact with her, mostly as a way to keep in touch with my father, who is deeply entrenched and abused. She also, I believe, is an alcoholic, and I am worried about prescription pain medication abuse. Mostly at this time I accept that she is unlikely to change, although I would like to see a change in my father's situation, which he has to chose.

For me, it is so frustrating when my mother tries to go through other relatives, to try and circumvent people who are no-contact. How is your husband as a support for you when she tries to go through him to get to you? I hope he supports you and supports keeping her away from you while you need it.