Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
March 28, 2024, 07:56:32 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Things I couldn't have known
Emotional Blackmail: Fear, Obligation and Guilt (FOG)
Am I the Cause of Borderline Personality Disorder?
Escaping Conflict and the Karpman Drama Triangle
I think it's Borderline Personality Disorder, but how can I know?
90
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Looking for advice please  (Read 340 times)
Danger mouse
Fewer than 3 Posts
*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 1


« on: July 13, 2019, 08:15:29 PM »

Hi I have had concerns for my daughters mental health for years - ( she is now 29) a recent event lead me to seek out a psychologist to try & make sense of things.  Speaking with her she said that my daughter sounds like she may have BPD & suggested I read "walking on eggshells" which I have just finished.
It made a lot of sense to me!
My daughter was diagnosed with Bipolar when she was around 16 which I felt never really "fitted her"
So now I have the delemia of - do I tell her what I have discovered? Is there a book for her to read is really what I want to know? A book for the person with BPD?
Thanks

Logged
Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
Blueskyday
****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 333


« Reply #1 on: July 13, 2019, 08:39:09 PM »

I think a huge problem is that BPD is not a label we would embrace easily. When I first started researching I found references describing those with BPD like the movie Fatal attraction.
My dtr is not violent. She engages in risky behaviour, lacks empathy, is mean to the dog but she wouldn't boil a rabbit!

My advice would be to get her to the therapist  and let them speak to her.
You're in great danger of placing yourself in a shoot the messenger situation.  

My dtr was also labelled with bipolar and BPD traits. Like you I knew it wasn't right. My dtr is BPD and has never been wholly "manic" per se.

BPD like everything I guess has a spectrum. How is she with you? My daughter is also 29
Logged
FaithHopeLove
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Shaky
Posts: 1606



« Reply #2 on: July 14, 2019, 07:57:48 AM »

Hi Danger Mouse
Welcome to the group. I am glad you found us and sorry for what brings you here. Whether diagnosed or not, knowing your daughter's behavior may be caused by BPD can be helpful in that it gives you a framework to use as you try to understand her and help her. It is also a good reason not to take her bad moments personally. Eggshells is a great book. You might also like "Loving Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder' by Shari Manning. As for whether or not to tell your daughter what you and your therapist are thinking, I would tread lightly. She may not be ready to hear that. My 24 year old son has been diagnosed with BPD but he doesn't like to talk about it. No one likes to feel labeled. Maybe for now it would be better to use this (possible) diagnosis as a way for you to build up your own understanding of what may be happening with her. If the time comes to share it with her you will know. Does that make sense? What else are you comfortable telling us about her? Does she live with you? Does she work? I hope you stick around. We are all in this together.
Hugs
Faith
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!