Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan...

[vanitysmurf]

I met her and  boy oh boy! For those who've been pursed by a woman with BPD, you know how it went... I was blindsided, to say the least. Things went far, quick... It was fun, though... And a lot of times, it still is (when we're doing things 'her way')... But she's the trifecta: A Cancer zodiac-emotional and intuitive; misdiagnosed with bi-polar; beautiful. And now she's pregnant... at first i thought it was the bi-polar stress...she blamed the hormonal changes... then i realized that no, this is something else, because she can be soo narcissistic...then the jealousy, anger came...quick...like the hulk! She scares me and i'm literally twice her size and at least five times her strength...  i had to think quick when she started hitting me...i knew that in today's society that law enforcement wouldn't be on my side or favor my situation... she's gorgeous, pregnant and smaller than me... and nobody's around when she gets reeved up... PLEASE READ's scary... i literally walked into our local police station and introduced myself to them and started explaining things voluntarily out of actual fear of the "damsel in distress" notions most men conjure up while in society... hopefully things never get out of hand... i understand her battle and i believe im strong enough to fend for myself emotional and physically...but i do have concerns for the baby once she delivers... i'm trying to "coach her up" but i have great concerns... and her family, namely her mother, not knowing what's what all her life, is a complete enabler... so there's no support for me there. I have a great couple who are supportive of the both of us and they understand the plight so i have just enough emotional support for myself. I try to talk to my mate during periods of calm...she seems receptive at times...but maaaaaan... when the hulk comes out without warning, watch out! I know it's not my place to fix anyone...i just want to be supportive as possible...seems like she's been through enough already.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Radcliff]

I'm sorry to hear that you're in such a tough situation, but glad you've found us. 

Take a moment and think about what you feel you need in order for a relationship to fill your spirit over the long haul.  Can you tell us about it?

RC

[Red5]

… I had to think quick when she started hitting me,

I've often pondered this, my upbdw is also much smaller in body weight than me, and shorter… as you described, being "chased" by a bpd woman… even though its now been eleven years ago, I do remember it .. and wow : )

So the hitting part, I think (imho)… once they get you under their full control, enmeshed, married, mortgaged, and a joint checking account, we, the non in the relationship are no longer an independent person, individual personality to them, if we ever even were… now we are to be controlled, we take on an almost inanimate state to them, like a chair, or some other "object"… so they think that now we are theirs, not as an equal partner, but as a possession, like their phone, or purse, we are their to "serve" them, and to be controlled by them.

So what do you do when the object does not work, for instance, a flashlight, well your may bang it on the table… a tv that wont pick up the station, you may "whack it" on the top of the set…

This is what the pw/bpd feels, when the non will not adhere to control, the non gets punished, ie' struck, hit, punched, kicked, I've even been spit on.

Be careful vanitysmurf

Red5