Martyr Complex

[Birddog]

Continuing on the self improvement path,  working on another challenge, Martyr Complex in relationship.

See traits passed from maternal GM -> MIL -> SO

Any good resources (books), strategy, things that have worked for people, ways to productively address.

This has been kind of nasty in terms of being used for dodging responsibility, unproductive conversation, used for Fear Obligation Guilt.

Trying to clean up my act to stop enabling the  behavior. 

Get scared falling into similar patterns myself. Recognizing the behavior think is a good first step.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Red5]

... being the martyr,

Did this for years and years... and more years... smh.

Put myslef last always, gave over my power, doormat, let myslef be run over by the bus, after I’d flung myself beneath it.

Hold on, let me draw my sword, so that I my fall upon its blade.

Accept all blame, shame and guilt... just to keep the peace.

The martyr is in close ranks with the codependent.

And what did I gain... only a short “stay” in the final sentence.

I’d recommend reading “Codependent No More”: _ How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself – September 1, 1986, by Melody Beattie

It used to be on YouTube as an audiobook...

Red5