Major breakthrough after schema test

[Peaceandhealing]

Dear all
I thought that it would be useful for both myself and potentially others to talk about my schema test results. I did the test twice- once for me now (after 2 years of therapy, working to heal my cPTSD with EMDR therapy, a lot of work on myself and being single and stable for 18 months now!) and once for me as I was growing up and into adulthood.
I cried when I read the results:
For me now I got above norm vulnerable child but also high/above norm happy adult and high happy child.

For me in the past i got above norm vulnerable child, angry child, enraged child, compliant surrender, and punishing parent, demanding parent and detached self soother

It feels like significant evidence that change is possible and all my hard work is really paying off. It also really helps me understand why I had 'chosen' my ex partner, he, on a deep level, reminded me of ME growing up (I grew up with a toxic, abusive stepfather).The me I used to be- angry and hurting. My belief was that if I could love and validate my ex enough he would also be able to 'get better' and leave his anger behind and we would be able to walk out of the pain of childhood abuse together into a sunny, normal life . Well I'm sure you can all guess how well that worked! For about 6 months it looked like change was happening, for the next 4 and a half years I became one of the people he got angry with and then finally his primary target of blame.
It is true that you can't heal anyone else isn't it? It has taken me YEARS to fully accept this. Growing up my slightly younger brother was diagnosed with BPD and had a drug addiction- from which he died when he was 34. I couldn't save him either and I really understand that now.
As I once (a couple of years ago) wrote on 2 small cards that I used to carry everywhere with me:
I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S HAPPINESS OR THEIR MENTAL HEALTH
I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY OWN HAPPINESS AND MENTAL HEALTH.

love to all of you guys.Many good wishes for your healing journeys xxx

[gotbushels]

Peaceandhealing  

Brilliant. Thank you for sharing.

The two years of therapy seems to be paying off. I know that feeling of achievement that comes from getting desirable improvements from test results in emotional health.

Well done—I hope you're finding ways to reward yourself. It can't have been easy and I know that improving in this area requires quite a big investment of resources. I hope you'll continue to share how you're bringing your improved self/emotional-maturity to your relational life.

Pleasant midweek to you.