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Author Topic: Just when we thought we were doing ok...  (Read 229 times)
MomSA
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
What is your relationship status with them: Married 28yrs
Posts: 155



« on: September 10, 2019, 12:16:50 AM »

5 weeks ago we were so excited to see our daughter launch into what we had hoped would be a new phase of her life. We were cautiously optimistic believing that after 3 months of rehab, 12 weeks of DBT and ongoing therapy with a team around her she would make good choices.

We found out on Saturday that she is using drugs heavily again, driving under the influence and hooking up with strangers she's meeting via instagram who are musicians.

We are meeting tomorrow with her therapist and psychologist to discuss options for intervention.

I leave with my youngest son on Monday for 3 weeks, this has come at an awful time.
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
FaithHopeLove
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What is your relationship status with them: Shaky
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« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2019, 01:47:20 AM »

That is so sad. I hope your meeting with the therapist will help.
 
 
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PeaceMom
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
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« Reply #2 on: September 10, 2019, 10:55:34 PM »

MomSA,
I’m so sorry you learned of DD’s current dangerous behavior. What are you hoping to learn from your meeting? It is so hard when we see a glimpse of healthy behavior only to learn that BPD symptoms were still overpowering. It must be like a constant tug-o-war inside them as most know at their core, right from wrong, but the impulsivity takes over.
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wendydarling
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
What is your relationship status with them: Mother
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« Reply #3 on: September 11, 2019, 05:53:01 AM »

MomSA I too am sad to hear this and glad you've the appointment with her medics.

WDx
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MomSA
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
What is your relationship status with them: Married 28yrs
Posts: 155



« Reply #4 on: September 11, 2019, 06:46:55 AM »

MomSA,
I’m so sorry you learned of DD’s current dangerous behavior. What are you hoping to learn from your meeting?

Thank you Faith, Wendy and Peace for responding.

Our first prize would be that she admits the truth that she cannot use drugs to cover her pain. That she would choose to voluntarily go back to rehab or even into some for of accountability program. This way she gets to keep on with her job and independent living.

We are doubtful that this will happen.

When she moved out we gave her a car to use. She knows, due to a contract she signed, that if she drove under the influence of any substance we would take the car away. We hope to use this as a "bargaining" chip to get her to commit to one of the above. Freedom of movement is huge for her.

If she says we can take the car back as she wants to continue living as she is, we will start proceedings to get her back into rehab for a much longer time.

Our meeting is at 5:30.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.
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Huat
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
What is your relationship status with them: Estranged
Posts: 465


« Reply #5 on: September 11, 2019, 01:05:42 PM »

His MomSA

I've been reading your posts and time I jumped in here, too, to give you a  Virtual hug (click to insert in post) and some support.

So many ups and downs with these children of ours.  You certainly are earning your "Super Mom" badge.....and never harbour any doubts as to whether or not you deserve it.  You do!  Sadly, some of us are having to work harder than others.

Huat
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MomSA
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Gender: Female
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
What is your relationship status with them: Married 28yrs
Posts: 155



« Reply #6 on: September 12, 2019, 09:17:34 AM »

Thank you Huat Smiling (click to insert in post)

Feedback is that she took the option to keep the car and go for drug testing at a clinic twice a week until her 21st birthday in 4 months time. This is going to be very hard for her unless she changes her friend group.

I feel so sad for this child.

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