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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: I think I’m beyond help right now. I’ve never been so low - Part 4  (Read 474 times)
formflier
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
What is your relationship status with them: Married
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« Reply #30 on: September 11, 2019, 02:10:19 PM »



Can you just check the box?  Bullet: completed (click to insert in post)

         _____ I realize that I have been running from fire to fire to avoid my own feelings of pain and I want to affect my own rescue before I go down again

_____  I am an innocent victim of a terrible injustice at the hand of others and need victim recovery care

Yes, the choice is a bit black and white, we are really just trying to gauge the primary direction to work with you here.

We will respect your choice. And hopefully you can find support here.


RF, help me understand how this basic choice was skipped over.

Best,

FF
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ct21218
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« Reply #31 on: September 11, 2019, 02:31:26 PM »

I agree, I am not responsible for his actions when my ex attacked me.  I am responsible for ignoring red flags and staying in a relationship with an emotionally immature person.  I took the next right action to protect myself with an order of protection so he can no longer attack me.  I am responsible for bettering myself and making better choices in relationships.

My ex was not arrested, even though the police were called both times.  It is not my job to show people that he's a bad person.  I honestly don't think he's a horrible person, he's been through some horrendous situations and doesn't have good coping skills.  That is his to work out.  I don't need to exact any sort of revenge.  His own actions lost him a place to live and a good life with animals he adored.  Despite his actions, he sees himself as the victim.

I seek to find my own happiness and see where I made mistakes in my choices.  There's an old saying - the best revenge is living well.  I pray for him and hope that he finds healing and happiness.  Whatever happens to him, he will not be in my life.

You have remarked that she was a terrible person, yet you wish you at gone to the movies with her?  How do you reconcile those thoughts?
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