It has been 5 years since I left my BPD girlfriend and it hurts worse then ever. After a foolish argument, she through me out, and to be honest I was relieved. She was driving me crazy after 5 years together and I really wanted out. After a few days, she began begging me to come back, sobbing, pleading, etc. But eventually she stopped. For 2 years, I didn't even think about her, but then I began hearing bad things about her ( drinking, etc..we are both in AA ) and haven't been able to get her out of my head since. I want to reach out to her and tell her what a amazing woman she is, and how she changed my life for the better. How I have a lifetime of wonderful memories of her and the time we shared. But she avoids me like the plague. What the heck is wrong with me? I clearly remember being un-happy and stressed out to the max and wanting to leave. Why is it that after almost 5 years, I miss her so much and can't stop thinking about her? I know I can't save her, or make her life better in any way. I just think it stinks that we shared so much time together and have so many memories ( she will always be a part of my life ) that we can't even be friends? Why can't I get over this?
