Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
November 13, 2019, 09:26:55 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Harri, Once Removed
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, FaithHopeLove, I Am Redeemed, Mutt, Turkish
Ambassadors: Enabler, formflier, GaGrl, Longterm, Ozzie101, Swimmy55, zachira
  Help!   Groups   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Books members most read
105
The High
Conflict Couple
Loving Someone with
Borderline Personality Disorder
Loving the
Self-Absorbed
Borderline Personality
Disorder Demystified

Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Recycle / charming attempts after nasty breakups?  (Read 87 times)
Alixor
Fewer than 3 Posts
*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2


« on: October 06, 2019, 05:58:27 AM »

Hi,

I have been in two relationships with BPD girls. The first one, around 7-6 years ago, was a LDR with a BPD with NPD & HPD traits, which lasted for approximately 1 year and 3 months. We both kinda drifted, but my own reasons were the realizations that I couldn't meet her unrealistic expectations & the fact that she was so self-absorbed and rarely showed affection towards me. So I went NC. Since then she has been trying for years to charm me back, every few months I'd receive Skype messages, and I also received Facebook messages (to which I promptly responded by shutting down my FB acc). Last charm attempt was in last June this year. Kinda weird how she doesn't get the message of my silence.

The second one, was very recent, it was with a BPD girl with a classic case of the disorder. She was vastly different from the first girl. The lovebombing and idealization really shook me up, and I believe she is extremely low-functioning compared to the first one. We only lasted around 2.5 months, and the discard was nasty - the smear campaign, along with the fact that she owes me 5K euro of which she refuses to pay back and just shuts down communication. I also threatened to report/sue her for financial theft, to which she responded in hostile manner. Eventually I backed off (this girl is crazy!), and decided to cut the losses and move on. I decided to initiate No Contact (NC) starting tomorrow.

I wonder if there are chances she might try to charm me sometime in the future. Thoughts?
Logged

NC - 07.10.2019
Pytagoras
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 152



« Reply #1 on: October 06, 2019, 06:20:36 AM »

Hello Alixor,

I'm sorry what you've been through.

With my exBPDgf, i invested in her beauty salon, i paid her medical bills and i spend a lot of more money with her. And when she "discarded" me for another, it seemed like none of that actions counted.

The main question to address you, i think, is to ask you "Do you want her to charm you?"

Can you give us more details of your relationship? How did it started, how did it end? Why do you gave her the money? How much time endured the honeymoon / love bombing period? When did you start observing BPD behavior?
Logged
2020 'Family Fund Drive
Record privacy is important and we are fully insulated from advertisers and from the data collection industrial complex of facebook, apple, google, and Amazon. How do we do this? We (members) fund the site together. We own the servers, the email system, and our own "cloud". BPDFamily a safe place to seek support - emotionally, electronically.
Together, we are making a difference in people's lives.
318
Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2020 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
40days_in_desert
alphabeta
AskingWhy
Avanzando
Beneck
bigredneck
Bittlecat
Boll Weevil
Cat Familiar
Chosen
drained1996
Eggshellsbroken
Forgiveness
ggGreg
gotbushels
Harri
Jazzy48
Longterm
Manifest32f
Methuen
mgirl
Minttea
Mutt
narcdaughter2
oceanheart
Only Human
PeacefulMom
podsnapG
pursuingJoy
Radcliff
Resiliant
Rosheger
SamwizeGamgee
Sandalwood
SCM
SerendipityChild
SES
Skip
Teno
Ventak
wendydarling
Wicker Man
worn_out

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2019, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!